Wednesday, July 27, 2005

This pretty much sums it up for me...

Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian


10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."


3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.


Lifted from Non Compos Mentis, who lifted it from Evil Bible.

Blogger hexacontium shat out the following...

*wiggles about this oh so true posting*

July 29, 2005 1:31 AM  
Blogger Indeterminacy shat out the following...

Anyone that makes me laugh gets my vote in BoB. I have a story post that I think fits in well with this:

Story #65

July 29, 2005 1:53 AM  
Blogger TrĂ©e shat out the following...

#10, 7, and 4. Sing it brother.

July 29, 2005 1:44 PM  
Blogger Vladimir666 shat out the following...

i might be a christian. wait, that might of been the huge dump i just took.

July 29, 2005 11:07 PM  
Blogger Radin shat out the following...

Nice to come by your blog. will regularly visit.

July 30, 2005 3:40 AM  
Blogger jane shat out the following...

hi tapeworm,
I'm an agnostic, but I hestitate to say so because Christians always think that means I'm an athiest. I wish Letterman would read that on his show. :)

omgosh you were in BoB????

July 30, 2005 9:49 PM  
Blogger The Prynce shat out the following...

#6 makes me think about how pissed off so many people would be if they knew I named by son after a Greek Demi-God, Dionysus. lol.

And on #7, we can't leave out the horrors of Job's story.

#5 (and most of these, really) is something that I really can't get seein' as how a fair amount of Christians are relatively smart!

And for #1... How true! I'm eclectic pagan and I know more about Christianity and the Bible than most Christians. I have no problem with the Bible though. It can teach morals and things but when you live by it... somethin's gonna get fucked up.

So do you actually have any religious 'affiliation'?

-=The Prynce

August 04, 2005 3:08 PM  
Blogger Tickles_Tapeworm shat out the following...

I'm not really into spirituality. My dad is really casual Jewish (Chaunakkah [sp] was about the extent of it). The neighbors were Lutherans, and they tried to bring me to church every weekend.

I think I quit believing in god around 10 or 11. I spent my high school years battling Christianity and cursing god. Except the church next door to school. they used to give out cookies and shit once a month, and never tried pressing their religion on you.

I still dont believe in anything. If I were to belong to any form of theism, it would have to be the Church of Digital Consciousness, cause I spend so much time in front of this damn computer.

Besides, being into god is SO not metal :)

August 04, 2005 3:22 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

eXTReMe Tracker