Holy Fucking Shit!

Check this out.

Yup, I'm a fucking []D [] []V[] []D!!!

This pretty much sums it up for me...

Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian


10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."


3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.


Lifted from Non Compos Mentis, who lifted it from Evil Bible.

The Polls are Closed!

The Results are in!!!

After months of vigorous counting and re-counting, I've gone thru all the ballots and come up with a winner!

The results were as follows:

A: 6 votes
B: 8 votes
C: 9 votes
D: 8 votes

So there you have it! I must be C, because I'm sure the voters of this great country would never, EVER, choose the wrong person.

Well, I'm not freakin' C. I thought you people were my friends. I though you all knew me better than that. If you really cared, you all would have voted for the correct Tickles.

You're gonna have chalk this one up there with the answer to how many licks it may take to reach to reach the damn center.

Fuckin' Memes

1. If you were a celebrity, what kind would it be (movies, tv, literature, crime, etc)?

Either a Hollywood Caliber actor, or the lead singer in the first br00taL Death Metal band to achieve pop status.

2. Which other celebrities would you make a concerted effort to try and be around?

The ones who know where to score the best dope. And the ones that drive best when drunk. People like Steve-0 and Roofus.

3. Which other celebrities would you avoid like the plague?

Boy Bands, Ben Assfleck, Ashlee Simpson, Richard Simmons, Slipknot

4. Which celebrities would you date?

Paula Deen, Bill Gates, The Olsen Twins (before they were famous)

5. What would be your “Celebrity Cause”?

Reducing the legal drinking age and age of consent by 5 years each.

6. Since celebs always get off, what crime(’s) would you commit?

Sell Crack. To blind kids.

7. What would be the name of your tell-all book?

"Jesus Fucking Christ"

8. Tag 3 people to do this poll.

The Kraken
Uncle Jay Razz
Bear

9. Link to the post that tagged you.

blogfart

100 things about me part deux

If you need to catch up, go here.

35. I got Dave's Insanity Sauce in my eye once. Ever been pepper sprayed? It's the same fucking thing.

36. I can't roll a joint by hand; I have to use a roller.

37. I can't roll blunts either.

38. I fought in the Battle of Seattle (WTO '99). Those fuckers gassed us without warning. The Insanity Sauce was worse. I refrained from breaking any windows.

39. It took a month after my 21st birthday for me to get sick. I pretty much drank to the point of oblivion every night that entire month. On that fateful evening, I had a mobile Long Island Iced Tea factory in my backpack. I followed those with some cheap ass beer, which I in turn followed with Bacardi Limon and Coke. Big Fucking Mistake.

40. I got hit by a car on Valentine's Day. Broke my shoulder and my thumb. And they gave me a jaywalking ticket.

41. I slipped on a steep ass hill (between 1st and 2nd on Madison. Downtown Seattle has some shitty hills) and broke my arm on September 11th, 2000. 3 guesses to which I consider a bigger tragedy on that day...

42. The newest car I've ever owned is currently 15 years old.

43. For the most part, I hate Japanese and European cars. They're too small, and I cannot, CANNOT, stand the fucking modified Hondas that litter our roadways.

44. My girlfriend says I play too many games and download too much stuff. She just needs to shut the fuck up and get over it.

45. The first concert I ever saw was Helloween, Exodus and Anthrax, on the Headbanger's Ball tour, back in like '88. I was 10, and my mom made my brother take me. He took me to our seats and then bailed. I saw some puke in the hallway. Anthrax Rokked!!!

46. The second concert I saw was Little Richard.

47. My third concert was Metallica. I left at the first encore, before I knew about encores. I could hear 'em playing 'One' while I was waiting outside, cause the bastards wouldn't let me back in.

48. Since then, I've managed to see: Motley Crue, Megadeth, Iron Maiden, Guns 'n Roses, Slayer, Fear Factory and a whole bunch of others. Never been to an Ozz Fest or Lollapalooza though.

49. I saw Transformers: The Movie in the theatre.

50. I've seen it probably over a billion times on video.

51. I stay up too late too often.

52. I hate cooking.

53. I was in a movie (as an extra). Never see it. It's called "Born to be Wild". Think "Free Willy" with a gorilla.

54. I hate most of the people I went to school with.

55. I've sold drugs to teachers. A teacher at least.

56. I've only seen Episode III 3 times so far.

57. When I delivered pizza, I was calling carrie on my cellphone. I paid a little too much attention to the phone, and ended up driving through a traffic circle, and plowed down a sign. I went back later that night and took the sign home.

58. Me and a few friends took some acid on Halloween night and stole Britt's pumpkin. He was rather upset, but we thought it was so funny that we sat in the car in front of his house and laughed for like 5 minutes straight. We then decided we were going to bring him a better one. we took someone elses pumpkin, and threw it in his yard later that evening.

59. Taking his pumpkin became a tradition for like the next 7 years.

60. I am 110% positive that my driving is better than everyone else on the road. I can't stand how others drive.

61. I found out the hard way the psilocybin mushrooms and hard liquor dont mix. I took some mushrooms, and then started drinking. I forgot that what i was drinking was liquor, and shortly thereafter alternated between laughing hysterically and crying hysterically. I havent really enjoyed taking mushrooms since.

62. I was a cub scout, all the way thru Webelos.

63. I was the bus driver in the Rosa Parks school play (wearing my cubscout uniform and a cowboy hat [we designed our own costumes, and there was a den meeting that day anyway])

64. My invisible friends name was Casper. I'm guessing he was the friendly ghost.

65. I fucking love s'mores.

66. I've been accused of worshipping the devil more than I've been complimented on my dashing looks.

67. I have a terrible addiction to pudding rings.

68. For the most part, I have an addictive personality.

Got Metal?

Scorched Earth are making an appearance on KAOS 89.3 FM, the very same station that Kurt Cobain and Nirvana used to play on. It's the Friday Night Rock Show, baby! You can listen, LIVE, from 11PM to 1AM PST.

Get yourself some RealPlayer or some Winamp (which is much better, if you ask me), and click the links on this page.

They'll be doing interviews, playing records, and performing LIVE!!!

Remember Friday Night, 11PM to 1AM PST on KAOS 89.3 FM

You can check out a few tracks from Scorched Earth on their myspace page.

WTF?

Prepared to be disturbed.

Turn off all the lights and watch this.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

I'm coming out of the closet...

... about file sharing.

Here's the down and dirty guide. I'm pretty sure that this is legal. To make use of what's there, you need to go either here or here. You might want to consider stopping by here first, especially if you're paranoid.

That's all I'm going to give you. Between all those links, you should be able to make it work. Have fun, and seed mf's.

***One Important thing to remember; Bit Torrent software and Bit Torrent files are FREE of charge. If you find a website that requires you to pay in any way for it's services, LEAVE immediately. That site is attempting to scam you.

Wikipedia explanation of bittorrent.

**EDIT: I forgot to mention that the Opera browser is working on their next build, 8.02, which is going to have Bittorrent built into the software. You just click on a torrent link, and Opera begins the download for you. Extremely simple, especially for folks who aren't that computer savvy. You can try it out here. Currently, it does not work with private trackers (bittorrent sites that you have to sign up for), but seems to function with most public trackers. REMEMBER, this is a preview build, so do not do anything of importance with this browser (buy things, pay bills, write long blog posts (: ).