Two blogs enter, One blog leaves...

Have you ever heard of Blog Thunderdome? It's a competition of sorts where 2 blogs battle it out, and the loser has to quit blogging for two months (even though they've already bent the rules on that). I'm not too bright, and can't be bothered to read, so I don't really know how they judge the blogs. I never really cared. Until now.

They've put up a blog(ger) I can't stand against a blog I've never really read before. As of this writing, it sounds like the please make rice blog didn't even know she had been entered(?).

Predictably, people are voting for bio because she "posts thong pics" and "blogs naked" and such. PMRILY said it best, "And trust me sweetheart, I've seen your profile picture and I don't think I'd want to see you in a thong." I mean, if you find football players hot, then maybe you would like to see her in a thong. The only poles they make in her size have telephone wires coming out of them.

PMRILY on the other hand, isn't afraid to show you the real deal. That's not what her blog is about, but she's not hyping it as such either. I'd call it photoblog-esque :) Her blog actually has content, whereas her competitor relies on a custom template and the illusion that she's alluring.

Don't let this travesty go any further. Please go to Blog Thunderdome and show your support for PMRILY.

I do have to warn you, there's a schizophrenic warthog roaming around, tossing out meaningless insults over there. I guess you'd have to be "crazy" to pluck your husband out of high school right off the internet. The best she can come up with is trying to get to me via carrie. Again. As if deleting her blog wasn't enough... ;)

P.S. I'm the one you have a problem with you wack bitch. Try directing one of your half assed attacks at me next time. Chicken Hawk.

My Balls are the stuffs of Legend.

Carrie assaulted me again the other day. When she doesn't like what I have to say, she thinks it's ok to put her hand over my mouth (which is not ok). She must have really not liked what I said, cause this time she just hit me in the mouth. Not surprisingly, I responded by balling up my fist and calling her a "fucking bitch". Again, she must not have liked that, cause she proceeded to hit me in the mouth 2 more times. All of this is because she said that I kicked her out (which I never did; she said she was leaving). Of course, she remembers things a little differently.

Will someone do the intarw3b a huge favor and silence that clown from that traffic service we all love loathe? Any time someone so much as talks about farting in their blog, he pops up and claims he's the first person to have ever blown ass. Now he's going as far as to threaten traffic services that haven't even gone live yet via email. You can find out more about that here and here.

So who's donating that Turducken (or Chucky, if you must) to the Tapeworm household this year? Carrie seems scared, but I'm totally down. No oyster stuffing though, that just sounds terrible to me. I'll totally whore out your blog or whatever you like if you send me a damn Turducken. I'll even go get a webcam so you can watch me consume this Turducken live! If I happen to find money inside of this Turducken, I'll eat it naked for you, slathering myself in giblet gravy. Or not. The choice is yours.

All you fine folks still searching for horse on man action, you missed out. I managed to find a link to one of the videos of the deceased. I guess he was known as Mr. Hands. Too bad tho, cause the link to that video no longer works. Now your only option is to pay me to recreate the events. Better hurry while it's still legal...

Alien vs Predator

The obligatory "I won!" post...

$25 Visa Gift Card, baby!!! I've been using Blingo for months now, and I gave up on winning. I figured maybe one of my Blingo friends would have won by now, but nope. And I'm totally happy, cause I'd much rather have the $25 than a movie ticket or some iTunes downloads. Sure, it doesn't have the glamour of the Shuffle, Nano, or PSP, but I can spend it on BEER!!! (and so can Captain Hops, cause he gets one too!)

So here where I whore it out: Click the button above to sign up for Blingo and become one of my friends. What is Blingo you ask? Well, Blingo is exactly the same as Google, but you can win just for searching. I think they give out about 100 prizes a day too! Theres a Blingo search plugin, and a whole bunch of other stuff too :P I just use the search plugin. The only catch is that you can only be eligible for prizes with 10 searches per day. But like all multiple winners have said, just keep trying, and you'll win eventually. A bunch of people have won numerous prizes from them.

Blingo also has an image search feature. They also have a blog. Check out everything at blingo.com, or just click the button above.

Regular Highway Road Rage

I swear I voted against the initiative giving driving licenses to the mentally retarded, but it must have passed anyway. Who are these bad drivers? These nameless, faceless morons who clutter my freeway. I guess they're not so nameless, as I've come to know them as "Fuckhead", "Shiteater" and "You Fucking Cunt".

Am I alone in wanting to say fuck whatever I'm doing and follow these people to their destinations, sneak up on them and hit them in the back of the head with a crowbar or tire iron, and then tell them that you're sick of people like them playing with your life so they can shave 30 seconds off their drivetime? There's a lot of people that are fairly lucky that I can't roll down my goddamn window (well, can't roll up technically, but I'm sure you get me). Driving is the number one factor that prevents me from purchasing a handgun (that, and the fact that I'd prefer to kill someone with blade...).

Seriously. I don't even think I'm exaggerating when I say that at least once a day, someone on the freeway comes this close -->||<-- to causing an accident in front of me. And at least half the time, it's people on the damn phone. Anyone who reads this (like anyone does), I am willing to invest in devices that make cellphones explode, or something cool like that. Well, I would if I had some money. I'll plug you for free if you send me a sample :).

FUCK!!!

A dead fucking pixel. Right in the fucking middle too.

And within 5 minutes, I fixed it. who would have thought I had to massage it back to life?

The place that helped me fix it.

Finally, someone worth voting for...

Vote for General Zod in 2008. He commands it.

Attention Bullimics!

If you need something to help get all that evil food up, I have just the thing for you!

All you have to do is read this post.

I've pretty much seen the worst of the worst, and nothing made me gag like this did. Not when Steve-O snorted a worm, nor when he stapled his sack to his legs, nor when he swallowed a goldfish and puked it back up. NONE of that made me gag like that post did. I've sat thru Faces of Death eating pizza. That was nothing compared to that post. Don't say I didn't warn you.

This is the reason I don't A)Meet people from the internet B)Let fucking strangers move in with me. I just don't get some people.

If you have a weak stomach, but are still interested, turn off images before you click the aforementioned link.