Information Super-Highway Road Rage

This Fucking Video is as Metal as it gets.

2006-12-04T23:02:00.000-08:00

Tr00.

2006-12-04T21:48:00.000-08:00

Back and forth, I sway with the wind
Resolution slips away again
Right through my fingers, back into my heart
Where it's out of reach and it's in the dark
Sometimes I think I'm blind
Or I may be just paralyzed
Because the plot thickens every day
And the pieces of my puzzle keep crumblin' away
But I know, there's a picture beneath
Indecision clouds my vision
No one listens...
Because I'm somewhere in between
My love and my agony
You see, I'm somewhere in between
My life is falling to pieces
Somebody put me together
Layin' face down on the ground
My fingers in my ears to block the sound
My eyes shut tight to avoid the sight
Anticipating the end, losing the will to fight
Droplets of "yes" and "no"
In an ocean of "maybe"
From the bottom, it looks like a steep incline
From the top, another downhill slope of mine
But I know, the equilibrium's there
Indecision clouds my vision
No one listens
Because I'm somewhere in between
My love and my agony
You see, I'm somewhere in between
My life is falling to pieces
Somebody put me together

Mike Patton pwns.

You all love me.

All your base

2006-06-19T22:53:00.000-07:00

My electronics have now completely assimilated me.

Here's proof.

I'm almost out of weed, and it's really scary. Getting drunk isn't an option, because it just makes me want to get stoned even more. But on the other hand, if I score, maybe I should get drunk. Drinking and Summer go hand in hand. Except that it's fucking gloomy and gray here. Sure, that's kvlt and all, but I want some god damn radiation.

Seriously folks; paypal button's on the left.

Iz mah burfday

2006-06-13T22:43:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so my fucking birthday is tomorrow. The paypal button is to the left.

I also like stuff like this...

That's it. I'm too cool for you all.

Fuck Shit Bitch

2006-05-10T21:36:00.000-07:00

updating your blog is soooooo 2005. I'm way more hipper than that, cause I have a cellphone that's smarter than me now. Here's some pictures I took with it...

I only had 2 drinks cause I'm a wuss.

So yeah.

My feet fucking stink

2006-04-20T21:09:00.000-07:00

Dude, wearing dress shoes ish teh ghay. People who think that a person is more professional because their clothes cost a lot and are uncomfortable are fucking morons. The clothing I'm required to wear has no effect on how I perform at work whatsoever. I don't enjoy wearing the clothes they want me to. What does that say about me as a person? It's like a disguise. It feels dishonest and wrong. I probably wouldn't give a fuck if they just let me wear my fucking basketball shoes.

He is hater of the rotten Earth
He is the nova that will drape the sky in woe
We drink from his poisoned water
He is lord of those who dwell bound in sickness
Spitting vomit in the face of faith
Cleansing us who must atone for being weak
We drink from his poisoned water
He is the shadow cast upon those defiled

Victorious call
It will not befall
No salvation is free
Death comes beckoning thee
Encircle thee
Voices come in wind
Son of perdition
You come beckoning me

The sky embedded in the death of a nova
Effigy is seen in a second of light
No voice in the crack of his mouth
Bastard son of God

Yeah, it's some filler, but it's still some awesome fucking lyrics.

Breeding Death
Resurrection Through Carnage
Nightmares Made Flesh

If you've ever sat there and thought to yourself "Gee, I'd like to listen to some Death Metal", these albums hold just about as much validity as Morbid Angel's 'Altars of Madness', because anybody who's anybody knows that. Seriously. Check out some Bloodbath, brought to you courtesy of Metal Central, Metal Music and Information Super-Highway Road Rage.

If gay people can be a protected class, so should people with tattoos. Not tattoos of naked women and Weed leaves and your dead homie's name, and shit like that. Just the more artistic and neutral designs. Why must I hide in shame because I've chosen to add permanent ink to my flesh in visible places? I'm sorry, but taking it in the can is as much as choice you have to make as poking needles tipped with ink into your skin. And we all know buttsex is what being gay is all about.

Happy 4/20, cunts.

Fuck a Title...

2006-04-13T23:12:00.000-07:00

Sitting in some of the Nation's worst traffic has left me unable to communicate verbally. Xor's most recent post inspired me. What I present before you can explain me right now better than any words could.

Trent Reznor - Quake

It's not exactly NiN, but definitely merits a listen. You'll understand how I currently feel after hearing it. It's also out of print, and rather hard to find. If you don't know what to do with rar files, google is your pal :P

I don't like working. At all.

We Got Motherfuckin' Snakes!!!!1!!

2006-04-02T12:58:00.000-07:00

Snakes on a Plane.

SNAKES ON A MOTHERFUCKING PLANE, BITCHES!!!

That's right. For all you doubters,

Yeah, Yeah, so Tony Pierce blogged it a few weeks ago already. That's because he sold his soul for telepathic powers, and all the good shit he writes has been stolen directly from my brain. (The Stuff that sucks is still his own, mind you). That iPod belongs to ME!!!

But seriously. Snakes on a Plane is going to be the best motherfucking movie ever. EVER. I've got my fingers crossed for a cameo by Carrot Top.

Oh yeah, I'm employed again, so I'll probably be posting even less (if thats possible). It's not even a job worth blogging about. But it pays my rent, and you assholes don't. Some friends.

I'm getting stoned. Like now.

BlogMad Opens the Doors!

2006-03-20T18:53:00.000-08:00

BlogMad has officially opened its doors and entered beta stage 2. Users can now join without being invited, and the site is giving away double credits for the next 24 hours...

The 24 hours of credits started at 4:00 PM PST, so get surfing!!!

BlogMad is totally gonna blow you away. I'm willing to bet that you can't surf 10 blogs without seeing a rave review of BlogMad, no matter what service you're using. By the end of the week, I'm expecting to see around 200 visitors a day.

Go sign up for BlogMad and get surfing while they're giving away DOUBLE CREDITS!!!!1! :P

read more | digg story

BlogMad, BlogExplosion, BlogAzoo, BlogClicker, BlogAdvance, BlogSoldiers, Blogs, Blog Traffic, Blogging

"Yea, Tix"

2006-03-12T04:17:00.000-08:00

Me and Jesus were kickboxing, like we usually do on Saturdays. I was whoopin' on him old school, like when we were back in the hood, and he was all like "Tickles, yo. Take it easy.", so I let him get a few free shots in. He still went down like a pussy.

I went on a killing spree this evening, cause someone stole all my toilet paper. When me and lil' JC were sparring, he told me "Good job bringing in the beer, Tix. At least they didn't get that." And I was like, "Oh huh." and he knew what was up. He said that maybe instead of beating on him so tough, maybe I should take my agression out on mortals, and I thought that sounded like a good idea. When Jesus says go kill people, you do it.

After the fight, me and Jesus smoked some meth out of a lightbulb, cause that's how he likes to get down. He left his smokes at Heaven, so he had to cruise to the store to get some more, and I told him I'd just catch him next weekend, and then he borrowed $6 off of me to get the smokes.

"Today will be a day long remembered..."

2006-03-01T01:56:00.000-08:00

BlogMad(beta) has arrived!!! If you were one of the people smart enough to sign up early, you can go and see it for yourself finally!!! It is truly a sight to behold in the world of Blog Traffic. BlogMad can get you INSANE amounts of Traffic to your Blog!

For anyone who hasn't signed up yet, there's still a chance to get a peek! A select few users will be allowed entry via invite. I just so happen to have a few of those invites. I offer you this deal: summarize my blog in one paragraph (five sentences), leave it as a comment, and I'll give you an invite. Just like gmail, I'll need an email address to send the invite to.

If you're CRAZY about your Blog Traffic, then BlogMad has exactly what you need.

Digg it!

BlogMad, BlogExplosion, BlogAzoo, BlogClicker, BlogAdvance, BlogSoldiers, Blogs, Blog Traffic, Blogging

The New Kingdom

2006-02-27T18:33:00.000-08:00

I felt that I must share with you the bestest, most greatest music video of all time.

Behold...

KALEDON!!!

Wanna know the good news? That was just the demo cut! You can view the final version at www.kaledon.com.

I was gonna bang a goat for free pizza, but Carrie said it wasn't a good idea. I was like "fuck. I like pizza.".

BugDay is upon us!

2006-02-24T16:08:00.000-08:00

"BlogMad's Bug Day promises to be a fun filled day full of surpises.

Saturday the 25th of February will see us opening the doors of BlogMad to selected people that are found wandering about on the forums. For one day only.

The Beta testing team plus selected members wil be allowed to start the ball rolling on the site.

It will be a day of interviews , ideas, bug fixing, games, tournaments, random prizes and whatever else we can think of.

There will be a couple of webcams set up with streaming so that BlogMad members can watch the crew at work."

Yup, that's right! BlogMad is looming over the horizon, and it's gonna blow you all away. Even in it's infancy, it's leaps and bounds more appealing than any other traffic service I've used in the past. The interface is sleek and modern. They employ a system that makes sure your viewers can't cheat and click early (unlike the "bigger" traffic services out there). The games are very fun and interesting, and best of all, can earn you credits. Watch out Blogosphere; BlogMad is coming!

to find out more about BlogMad and bugday, come check out the forums. Random users will be selected to preview the upcoming traffic service! And I hear they're serving punch and pie :D

BlogMad is teh pwn ;)

BlogMad, BlogExplosion, BlogAzoo, BlogClicker, BlogAdvance, BlogSoldiers, Blogs, Blog Traffic, Blogging

;)

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

2006-02-14T15:01:00.000-08:00

What's tha 419?

2006-01-29T14:38:00.000-08:00

I always knew that most of the people I'm surrounded by are stupid. That's a given. But I never knew just how stupid some of these people were, until I heard of the 419 scams.

I guess it's like this: Some time in the 80's, faxes and snailmail started coming out of Nigeria claiming to be from bank employees, lawyers, etc., talking about some bank account they stumbled upon, containing millions and millions in US dollars. The owner of the account has been long dead, and the evil government will just take back in all that cash if something isn't done about it. That's where you come in. They need someone outside of Nigeria to help setup another account, and claim that money as next of kin, what have you. All you have to do is help them out, and you'll will net 20% of this newfound fortune!!!

Of course, there's plenty of expenses in setting up this account, and getting the proper documentation in order. But what the hell, when you stand to gain so much, what's a few thousand dollars here and there?

I shit you not, officials state that these kind of scams pull in HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS from the fucking US alone every year. It's called Advanced Fee Fraud, and there's thousands of variations on the scam described above. The people that pull these scams are referred to as 419 scammers. 419 is the section in the Nigerian Legal code that covers these types of operations.

From what I've gathered, they sit in cybercafes all day and night, harvesting emails, sending emails, and corresponding with the victims (read: fucking morons). They get emails from website guestbooks (guestbooks are soooooo 1996), and start the mass mailings. They also tag these guestbooks once they've been harvested. It looks like gibberish to the average English speaking person, but holds meaning to the criminals. I don't care to post these terms on the blog, as I don't know if they search for these terms myself. You'll see.

As far as I can tell, not much is being done about these scammers. Some report these scams as Nigeria's 5th largest industry, being used to fund drug trafficking and terrorist activities. It's also gone far beyond the reach of Nigeria as well. All over West Africa, in many parts of Europe, and even in the US and Canada, people are pulling 419 scams. I feel many authorities are reluctant to address the problem simply because if you're fucking dumb enough to hand over thousands and thousands of dollars to people over the fucking Internet, you really didn't need that money in the first place, because you are far too stupid to live. The only problem I see with it, aside from possibly funding terrorists, is that it's taking money out of our economy with no return.

There are a few who are prepared to deal with the scamming scum. They're called scambaiters, and they're my new addiction. Scambaiters have redefined the term "pwn3d" (if there ever was a definition in the first place). I won't spoil it for you, but know that these scambaiters are true artists. With that, I leave you with a few links...

www.whatsthebloodypoint.com

Artists Against 419

419 Eater

** I refer to the victims as morons, with the exception of the elderly. I understand that computers and the internet may be confusing to them. I've read of cases where a son bought his aged mother a computer so she could keep in touch with the family via email, and probably had no instruction on how to deal with spam, and wouldn't understand how mass mailings work. Tell your grandma about spam, for your inheritance's sake.

As and added bonus, I've decided to show you just how popular 419 scamming is over there.

Yup. I think the lyrics are in Pidgin English, so here is both the original and the translation into plain English.

Oh yeah. We got bags of Cracker Jacks now too.

Open letter to a redneck...

2006-01-13T20:26:00.000-08:00

I think being proud of your skin color is retarded, especially since you didn't have to do anything to earn it, work for it, anything. I think you should be proud of accomplishments, not things you were born with. I don't feel proud to be white, nor American. These are things that were just handed to me.

I sure as shit don't want to claim caucasians, because white people as a whole pretty much suck. Fuck racism, because white people look down upon our (the metal) community just as much as they do people of color. I was really put off by someone making an "us and them" comparison. I don't think it makes much sense to lump all whites together with all {insert non-white ethnicity here} and say "we" and "they". Who's we? Cause it sure as hell didn't include me.

I hate wiggers too, but I blame their parents more than I blame rap artists and black people. I doubt most of the sagging pants and upside down visors you see were bought with money from after-school jobs.

I think saying that blacks make their money primarily from basketball and entertainment is an uneducated statement. What do you know about the black community besides what the MSM tells you? How many black families have you spent a decent amount of time with? Yet you say they all have one common goal?

And who the fuck calls you cracker or honky? In my 27 years, I don't think I've been called these names out of anger once.

And WET? It's called "every fucking channel but like 3 of em". Or something similar.

How do ethnic holiday effect you negatively? Do you celebrate Christmas? That's a fucking christian holiday (or was at one point) that's forced down everyone's throat for like 3 months a year.

Even though I'm just talking out my ass, I feel confident in this statement: even if the US was 110% peckerwoods, we'd still have just about as much violent crime, drug use, etc. People are shit, no matter how much melanin they have. It's just more convenient to blame it on subtle differences.

Look at the fucking Irish. How long have those fucking Micks been tossing bombs at each other? It doesn't get much whiter than that. How is that any better than all of what goes down "n tha hood"?

And on the subject of blacks getting away with more at work? I'd say that's the cracker ass US legal system at work, not blacks. You see it as them getting away with more, but it's your employer buckling under fear of lawsuit. The manager just assumes that since they're black, they're gonna sue. I'm guessing that you've been in a situation where you were reprimanded for something where a black worker was not. Is that the fault of the black employee, or the employer?

Our REAL enemies are MTV Networks, Frito-Lay, and Disney. Think about that.

(this was originally posted in response to a few comments about racial pride, made in a heavy metal forum)

Chris Pirillo is a hate monger. Chris Pirillo has probably never read my blog before. I'd like to hear Chris Pirillo's view on things, because many have likened him to Hitler. Others have likened Chris Pirillo to Jesus. I think Chris Pirillo is just Chris Pirillo.

(yes i'm mad no one has commented on this yet :P)

The Power of Christ Impales You

2006-01-13T03:05:00.000-08:00

Dude, this is the worst fucking shit I've ever read. Ever. Is it even legal to try to brainwash kids with this shit? How dare they banish the All Mighty Joe Camel, and allow garbage like this to continue. They don't even post a warning or anything. View at your own risk.

If you don't like fancy shit, follow this link.

Oh, and I don't give a fuck what anyone says; ID and Creationism is just retarded.

Troll Captured Killed Reborn

2006-01-09T03:19:00.000-08:00

Penelope had a sex change and found god. I had a brief encounter with penelope a while back, and it seems to have paid off. I don't know if it was pre or post op, but penelope got a degree in medicine, and became Doctor Life, and started a new blog, http://hidingtheblog.blogspot.com/.

According to the Doc, most of the visitors arrived via BE, so I'm guessing that's why I never heard of it until recently. The Doc did a great job of infuriating a bunch of people. I feel the writing was great, especially if you ever had a look at the author's previous blog. There were a few things that stood out though. After 5 minutes of reading, I saw the blog for what it was; someone phishing for angry comments. And they got plenty.

I have my fingers crossed in anticipation that on the next attempt, even I will be fooled. I guess you can say I'm issuing a challenge of sorts. But I have to give credit where credit is due; the author did a great job. Third time's a charm, Penelope? :D

Like Shooting Fish in a Barrel: The Time Has Come: THE BLOG APOCALYPSE

Grillz

2006-01-08T18:46:00.000-08:00

You might call me a trend hopper, but this is something I've NEEDED for like 10 years now. I've even asked for Christmas a few times.

Platinum (or Gold) Fronts

Seriously though. My life isn't going to be complete until I get some fronts. And plain isn't gonna cut it either. I need some diamond encrusted shit. I need a full mouth too. Top and bottom row. The top row has to say "TAPE", and the bottom row has to say "WORM", preferrably spelled out in precious jewels.

You can either fly my ass to Savannah with a blank check for the fine folks of goldteeth.com, or you can visit my PayPal account (there's a handy link to it on your left). Fuck homeless kids (not literally), fuck the less fortunate (that's up to you) and fuck Katrina victims (better not, theyre all scroungy). Tapeworm needs a new grill, and that's where all your scrilla should rightfully be spent.

Deb doesn't share the love for the grill, but carrie does.

How do you get the franks above the beans?

2006-01-05T15:36:00.000-08:00

I got tagged by some vile cunt, so here's 5 random facts about me...

1. I fucking hate onions. Soooooo fucking much. Their smell makes me nauseous. They give me fucking heartburn. The only kind of onion I can barely tolerate is grilled onions, and even then, I don't like them, and only the carmelization they produce. I FUCKING HATE ONIONS. Yet carrie insists on adding them to EVERY FUCKING DISH SHE MAKES. It gets to the point where I have to beg her not to put them in. Fuck her.

2. I got caught smoking weed in high school, and had to go to 9 months of outpatient rehab. I think I went one, maybe two sessions sober. We convinced the counselor to take us to a laser show for one of our outings, and me and the guy I got busted with dropped some acid right before we left. I thought the counselor was cool, cause he actually did some time, and wasn't a pussy, like many counselors are. I thought he was cool cause he didn't take any bullshit. You can see all the good rehab did for me. :P

3. I dated a girl who was in all the slow classes. Not quite special ed, but definitely sub par. She was an unclefucker. And her house fucking stunk. I used to make up reasons why I couldn't come in.

4. I stole from the food bank when they made me volunteer there. They had candy bars and soda and shit. Shut up.

5. The only person I ever met from the internet was a guy who was a rapper, and he was really into weed. Like, he had a weed problem. I met him in a WEED chatroom (I never denied being a n3rd). He was bragging about his rapping skills, and I called bullshit on him, and said if you're so good, post your lyrics. He didn't want to, fearing someone might rip him off. Remember, i met him in a WEED chatroom. He wanted to call me, so i could hear him rap. This was before many people had mics, still in the 90's. I said if you think it's necessary we talk on the phone, ill let you page me. So i did. and he rapped. and he sucked. But that was to be expected, he was white :P

he paged me a shitload after that, wanting to hang out. i guess, at some point, i told him where i worked. When someone lays an offer of a couple blunts on the table, how the fuck are you supposed to pass it up? So I say to heck with it, and decide to go meet him. he's worried about the smell, so we can only go smoke in the bathroom. with the door closed. sounds fine. afterwards, we get to talking.

he decides that now is a good time to start sharing. sharing things like the guy he's living with is his boyfriend. and that he's been cheating on his boyfriend. with multiple people. including 50 year old truck drivers. fucking ewwwwwwwwww. I might have been 20 or 21 at the time, and he wasnt even 18 yet. judging by photos on the wall, whoever was paying the rent was in his 30's. Just another chicken hawk.

He also decides to let me know, subtly, that he's into guys that, strangely, resemble... me. You can probably expect that the next trip to the bathroom didn't seem as appealing. he never came out and directly hit on me. I left as soon as I finished the second blunt, which seemed as good a time as any. It turns out, him and his boyfriend had visited my place of business before i ever hung out with him, but didnt say a word to me. That's creepy shit.

He continued to call me, asking me to hang out with him, and tried to guilt me for dodging his calls, by saying all he wanted to do was kick it. So, when I decided to give in, I made up an insurance policy. I brought carrie with me. Sure enough, it worked. He was extremely put off by carrie being there, which shouldnt have been an issue, since he just wanted to kick it :P fuck man, weed is weed. remember, WEED chatroom, WEED chatroom. All it took was 2 times of bringing carrie with me to get him to stop calling. We saw him once after that, in a record store, and i swear, he gave us the dirtiest fucking look imaginable.

so now I'm gonna tag deb, bee, xor, bear and God.

Happy New Year Mother Fuckers

2005-12-31T07:11:00.000-08:00

I've been blogging for just over a year now, and my most loyal reader base is people seeking to pleasure themselves to images of men fatally penetrated by horses. The most popular word associated with my blog is horse, and I hate Horses.

This year, I've been both a troll and a troll killer. I battled stupid Canadians who like coffee. I battled stupid blog traffic services who may or may not like coffee. I taught a kid in some hick town in central NY state that there's more to life than Slipknot. I found out that not every person in the south dates inside their family, and that some of them are even fun to talk to. ;)

The most important thing I've learned this year in the world of blogging? Food Blogs über alles. They have no politics, very few trolls, and they're beneficial to everyone who reads them.

In 2006, I promise to try harder to offend. I've been slacking in my duties as a contributor to shit that's fucked, and I plan to do something about it. While I can't draw shit, the eye of the camera knows no boundaries.

And all you folks looking for the horse porn; would it kill you to leave a comment every once in a while? There's at least 7 of you a day. Jeez.

2005-12-27T03:39:00.000-08:00

Mom, I love you, but if you ever get me something like this again, I shall not return for future holidays.

2005-12-24T00:30:00.000-08:00

I got one of the best Christmas presents ever tonight. A shitload of fucking beef!!! They gave me like half the fucking cow. I'm fucking stoked. Beef kicks ass. I also got a green pullover. I don't know why I got the coat tonight, but if they waited until Christmas on the beef, it would probably end up tasting funny. Conversely, it would be fucking awesome to get beef wrapped up as a gift too.

Care to be my financial advisor?

2005-11-19T04:43:00.000-08:00

So I got my Blingo prize the othe day, the whopping $25 gift card. Carrie won't let me buy cds or movies with it, so what the fuck should I buy? I'd spend it on drugs, but they don't let you withdraw cash from it.

Seriously, I'm open to suggestion (and you fucks don't comment enough anyway).

(apparently, I'm the biggest winner in my area :D )

2005-11-19T00:56:00.000-08:00

Fuck the Police, and Tickles said it with Authority

2005-11-16T14:47:00.000-08:00

So I seem to be on a roll. First, I'm walking down the street getting high, when I look up and notice that I'm standing in front of the police station. Luckily, none of them happened to be looking up at the same time. Later that night, I hear breaking glass followed by 3 kids walking up the street at like 4 am. I call the cops, and they tell me that they're going to want to talk to me. I'm not sure how interested they'd be in my marijuana decoration ablilites, so I had to make a mad fucking dash to make sure all the pipes, bongs, papers, etc were stashed in the closet. It turns out that the stupid kids didn't do anything to begin with, and the cops never came inside. I suppose I shouldn't bitch too much.

Intoxication has become much more difficult as of late. I've been trying to come up with ways to snort weed, but none have worked so far. When I had my tooth pulled, I smoked weed thru my nose. Although it sounds fun, I don't suggest it. All I got was a sinus headache, and didn't get too stoned. I really need some chronic juice, but that prescription ran out. I'm not a drinker, but shit, sobriety is a bitch. Thank goodness for PBR. In a can.

On a lighter note, since my sexuality comes into question rather often, I've decided I'm going to lay it all out on the table for my fans. I'm going to post some pics from my personal collection. Mostly, the ones where I'm sodomizing Jeff, the co-owner of blogexpulsion. The pics aren't that great. His face looks blurry from all the crying he did. I don't see what the big deal is, cause he barely bled. Conversely, he can deepthroat like no other. I thought he was going to end up swallowing my leg too! I've never seen someone so eager to take a load on their face. So yeah, I'm as gay as it gets. How brilliant of you guys to see thru my ruse!!! Sorry Carrie, I couldn't lie to the Internet anymore; my real friends.

Oh yeah, fuck yo momma or something.

Best. Link. Ever.

2005-11-12T15:27:00.000-08:00

For the hottest, sickest child porn you could ever see, check out www.molestationnursery.com!!!

"That's my mother you're pissing on..."

2005-11-11T21:06:00.000-08:00

I was thinking today about the time buttrock Britt started puking all over himself, which caused another guy to start puking all over the place. That shit was hilarious. And Britt is a fucking douchebag.

Taking the bus anywhere sucks ass. Unless you're drunk. Fuck this environment shit, everyone needs a car. But before that happens, they need to make driving concentration camps. This will be required of any seeking the chance to control a motor vehicle. Applicants shall be shackled to driving simulators for no less than 16 hours a day, and shall have needles inserted underneath fingernails when the rules of the road are broken. Micronuclear explosive devices shall be implanted in the base of the skull, and shall detonate when exposed to a cellphone signal moving over 2mph. Changing lanes without signaling will be punishable by death. I see nothing wrong with a shitty driver holocaust.

I've got a whole case of PBR ahead of me, so it might be a rough weekend. or maybe just a rough night, depending on how badass I feel like getting. If I have to push the fucking shopping cart home again, I'm gonna need to be shitfaced. Fuck.

Happy Birthday Carrie!!! I love you!!!

2005-11-03T02:53:00.000-08:00

It's Carrie's birthday today!!! Go and wish her a Happy Birthday!

Horse rides Man (Updated)

2005-11-03T02:49:00.000-08:00

Ok, this is probably the worst thing I've ever read. Seriously.

Horse rides Man

Have a bucket ready.

The worst thing. In this (my) state, no laws were broken.

I really hope that this is just some well-fabricated story.

UPDATE!!!

so the internet gossip is that the deceased went by the name of [censored]. there is a video (not THE video, of him dying) floating around of some guy getting doodled in the pooper by a horse. i didnt view the film in it's entirety, just long enough to realize theres 2 people and a horse. i guess theres no way to tell if [censored] is really the enumclaw guy, but i'm willing to guess theres not too many guys out there filming themselves in the company of horses either.

I can't link to the news reports directly anymore, so I had to copy and paste this...

written Oct. 19
Videotapes show bestiality, Enumclaw police say

By Jennifer Sullivan

ENUMCLAW — Authorities are reviewing hundreds of hours of videotapes seized from a rural Enumclaw-area farm that police say is frequented by men who engage in sex acts with animals.

The videotapes police have viewed thus far depict men having sex with horses, including one that shows a Seattle man shortly before he died July 2, said Enumclaw police Cmdr. Eric Sortland. Police are reviewing the tapes to make sure no laws have been broken.

"Activities like these are often collateral sexual crimes beyond the animal aspect," said Sortland, adding that investigators want to make sure crimes such as child abuse or forcible rape were not occurring on the property.

Washington is one of 17 states that does not outlaw bestiality. Police are also investigating the farm and the two men who live on the property to determine whether animal cruelty — which is a crime — was committed by forcing sex on smaller, weaker animals. Investigators said that in addition to horses, they have found chickens, goats and sheep on the 40-acre property northwest of Enumclaw.

Officers talked with the two men, but neither has been arrested. Neither man could be reached yesterday for comment.

According to King County sheriff's spokesman John Urquhart, the farm is known in Internet chat rooms as a destination for people who want to have sex with livestock.

However, authorities didn't learn about the farm until a man drove up to Enumclaw Community Hospital on July 2 seeking medical assistance for a companion. Medics wheeled the man into an examination room before realizing he was dead. When hospital workers looked for the driver, he was gone.

Using the dead man's driver's license to track down relatives and acquaintances, authorities were led to the Enumclaw farm. Some earlier reports had said hospital-surveillance cameras were used to track down the driver.

The dead man was identified as a 45-year-old Seattle resident. According to the King County Medical Examiner's Office, he died of acute peritonitis due to perforation of the colon. The man's death is not being investigated because it did not result from a crime, Urquhart said.

The Seattle man's relatives said yesterday they never suspected he was involved in bestiality. They said they were surprised when they learned he had purchased a Thoroughbred stallion earlier this year. The man told his relatives he boarded the animal with some friends in Enumclaw.

While the man's relatives were unsure how many horses he had boarded at the property, one Enumclaw neighbor said the Seattle man was keeping two stallions there.

Police and neighbors said the people renting the property have also had dogs and bull calves on the farm. Yesterday there were several horses and ponies grazing near a barn.

Two neighbors, a married couple who declined to allow use of their names, said yesterday they had no idea what had been going on at the farm. They said they've known one of the men who live on the farm for years.

On Thursday, police showed the couple videotape seized from the farm showing men having sex with horses. The couple identified one of the horses as belonging to them, Sortland said. The couple also said it appeared at least part of the tape was filmed in their barn, which left them shocked and angry.

"We couldn't believe what we were seeing," said Sortland. "In the rare, rare case this happens, it's the person doing the animal. I think that has led to the astonishment of all of the entities involved."

Thursday night, in reaction to the man's death, Susan Michaels, co-founder of Pasado's Safe Haven, posted a letter on the local animal-rights organization's Web site calling for people to e-mail legislators in an attempt to change state laws.

"This [the death] gives us credence of getting a bestiality law passed," said Michaels. "It's not natural for animals to do this."

State Sen. Pam Roach, R-Auburn, said she plans to draft legislation as early as next week making bestiality illegal in Washington.

"This is just disgusting," Roach said yesterday. "It's against the law to harm children; it should be against the law to violate an animal."

So yeah, all you sick fucks that have arrived here via search engine looking for the video, I know where it is, nyah nyah nyah. I'm still down to make my own video. my ass has been hurting lately anyway. and i need money for christmas presents, turduckens, and that rent thing. and weed. and beer. and xbox 360s.

Better hurry. They could have that law drafted any day now.

Two blogs enter, One blog leaves...

2005-10-30T16:19:00.000-08:00

Have you ever heard of Blog Thunderdome? It's a competition of sorts where 2 blogs battle it out, and the loser has to quit blogging for two months (even though they've already bent the rules on that). I'm not too bright, and can't be bothered to read, so I don't really know how they judge the blogs. I never really cared. Until now.

They've put up a blog(ger) I can't stand against a blog I've never really read before. As of this writing, it sounds like the please make rice blog didn't even know she had been entered(?).

Predictably, people are voting for bio because she "posts thong pics" and "blogs naked" and such. PMRILY said it best, "And trust me sweetheart, I've seen your profile picture and I don't think I'd want to see you in a thong." I mean, if you find football players hot, then maybe you would like to see her in a thong. The only poles they make in her size have telephone wires coming out of them.

PMRILY on the other hand, isn't afraid to show you the real deal. That's not what her blog is about, but she's not hyping it as such either. I'd call it photoblog-esque :) Her blog actually has content, whereas her competitor relies on a custom template and the illusion that she's alluring.

Don't let this travesty go any further. Please go to Blog Thunderdome and show your support for PMRILY.

I do have to warn you, there's a schizophrenic warthog roaming around, tossing out meaningless insults over there. I guess you'd have to be "crazy" to pluck your husband out of high school right off the internet. The best she can come up with is trying to get to me via carrie. Again. As if deleting her blog wasn't enough... ;)

P.S. I'm the one you have a problem with you wack bitch. Try directing one of your half assed attacks at me next time. Chicken Hawk.

My Balls are the stuffs of Legend.

2005-10-27T14:23:00.000-07:00

Carrie assaulted me again the other day. When she doesn't like what I have to say, she thinks it's ok to put her hand over my mouth (which is not ok). She must have really not liked what I said, cause this time she just hit me in the mouth. Not surprisingly, I responded by balling up my fist and calling her a "fucking bitch". Again, she must not have liked that, cause she proceeded to hit me in the mouth 2 more times. All of this is because she said that I kicked her out (which I never did; she said she was leaving). Of course, she remembers things a little differently.

Will someone do the intarw3b a huge favor and silence that clown from that traffic service we all ~~love~~ loathe? Any time someone so much as talks about farting in their blog, he pops up and claims he's the first person to have ever blown ass. Now he's going as far as to threaten traffic services that haven't even gone live yet via email. You can find out more about that here and here.

So who's donating that Turducken (or Chucky, if you must) to the Tapeworm household this year? Carrie seems scared, but I'm totally down. No oyster stuffing though, that just sounds terrible to me. I'll totally whore out your blog or whatever you like if you send me a damn Turducken. I'll even go get a webcam so you can watch me consume this Turducken live! If I happen to find money inside of this Turducken, I'll eat it naked for you, slathering myself in giblet gravy. Or not. The choice is yours.

All you fine folks still searching for horse on man action, you missed out. I managed to find a link to one of the videos of the deceased. I guess he was known as Mr. Hands. Too bad tho, cause the link to that video no longer works. Now your only option is to pay me to recreate the events. Better hurry while it's still legal...

Alien vs Predator

2005-10-19T05:37:00.000-07:00

The obligatory "I won!" post...

2005-10-14T23:55:00.000-07:00

$25 Visa Gift Card, baby!!! I've been using Blingo for months now, and I gave up on winning. I figured maybe one of my Blingo friends would have won by now, but nope. And I'm totally happy, cause I'd much rather have the $25 than a movie ticket or some iTunes downloads. Sure, it doesn't have the glamour of the Shuffle, Nano, or PSP, but I can spend it on BEER!!! (and so can Captain Hops, cause he gets one too!)

So here where I whore it out: Click the button above to sign up for Blingo and become one of my friends. What is Blingo you ask? Well, Blingo is exactly the same as Google, but you can win just for searching. I think they give out about 100 prizes a day too! Theres a Blingo search plugin, and a whole bunch of other stuff too :P I just use the search plugin. The only catch is that you can only be eligible for prizes with 10 searches per day. But like all multiple winners have said, just keep trying, and you'll win eventually. A bunch of people have won numerous prizes from them.

Blingo also has an image search feature. They also have a blog. Check out everything at blingo.com, or just click the button above.

Regular Highway Road Rage

2005-10-13T21:56:00.000-07:00

I swear I voted against the initiative giving driving licenses to the mentally retarded, but it must have passed anyway. Who are these bad drivers? These nameless, faceless morons who clutter my freeway. I guess they're not so nameless, as I've come to know them as "Fuckhead", "Shiteater" and "You Fucking Cunt".

Am I alone in wanting to say fuck whatever I'm doing and follow these people to their destinations, sneak up on them and hit them in the back of the head with a crowbar or tire iron, and then tell them that you're sick of people like them playing with your life so they can shave 30 seconds off their drivetime? There's a lot of people that are fairly lucky that I can't roll down my goddamn window (well, can't roll up technically, but I'm sure you get me). Driving is the number one factor that prevents me from purchasing a handgun (that, and the fact that I'd prefer to kill someone with blade...).

Seriously. I don't even think I'm exaggerating when I say that at least once a day, someone on the freeway comes this close -->||<-- to causing an accident in front of me. And at least half the time, it's people on the damn phone. Anyone who reads this (like anyone does), I am willing to invest in devices that make cellphones explode, or something cool like that. Well, I would if I had some money. I'll plug you for free if you send me a sample :).

FUCK!!!

2005-10-03T06:30:00.000-07:00

A dead fucking pixel. Right in the fucking middle too.

And within 5 minutes, I fixed it. who would have thought I had to massage it back to life?

The place that helped me fix it.

Finally, someone worth voting for...

2005-10-02T08:32:00.000-07:00

Vote for General Zod in 2008. He commands it.

Attention Bullimics!

2005-10-02T04:18:00.000-07:00

If you need something to help get all that evil food up, I have just the thing for you!

All you have to do is read this post.

I've pretty much seen the worst of the worst, and nothing made me gag like this did. Not when Steve-O snorted a worm, nor when he stapled his sack to his legs, nor when he swallowed a goldfish and puked it back up. NONE of that made me gag like that post did. I've sat thru Faces of Death eating pizza. That was nothing compared to that post. Don't say I didn't warn you.

This is the reason I don't A)Meet people from the internet B)Let fucking strangers move in with me. I just don't get some people.

If you have a weak stomach, but are still interested, turn off images before you click the aforementioned link.

Kids need better drugs

2005-09-30T07:05:00.000-07:00

Yeah, it's about fucking time for you parents to do the responsible thing, and start buying drugs for your kids. Otherwise, they'll end up doing this.

They're calling this a "safe" high? Shit, they only kids I knew who did this shit weren't doing it cause it was safe, they did it because there was no more cash to take from their mom's purse.

Do they make Darwin Awards for kids?

BlogAdvance Forums

2005-09-25T17:43:00.000-07:00

I'm taking today to let you know about the wonderful BlogAdvance forums, located here.

What's a forum? Well, it's rather similar to the blog you're already using, except it's based around a whole community instead of an individual. At the BlogAdvance forums, members of the service come togther to offer each other design tips, work out bugs in your blog's code, offer constructive criticism, and just plain have fun! There's something for everyone in the BlogAdvance forums, with nearly a dozen usergroups now, and more being added all the time. Usergroups are set up for folks with specific interests in mind, such as writing, cooking, gaming, music, and much more.

Within a month, a good number of BlogAdvance members have joined, but we need more! A great community is based on the participation of its members, and now is when we need ambitious folks like you the most! Come help be a part of something great. The BlogAdvance forums currently have well over 4,000 posts in hundreds of active threads, which goes to show how dedicated BlogAdvance forum members are to helping you get your blog read. That's what BlogAdvance is all about; getting your blog read. It's their top priority.

More Internet Gossip

2005-09-24T23:59:00.000-07:00

New Breed of Corrupt Torrent Infiltrates BitTorrent
September 24, 2005
Thomas Mennecke

myBittorrent is a popular BitTorrent listing site used by tens of thousands of individuals each day. It also has become the focus of an individual or group of individuals looking to undermine the integrity of the BitTorrent community. Although false and corrupt files have been a part of the BitTorrent community since its beginning, a new kind is emerging that aims for maximum exposure.

"I think they are doing this to give BitTorrent a bad name,” Rex, the administrator of myBittorrent told Slyck.com.

Of course the proverbial "they" is the real question. According to Rex, about 50 new torrents have been released from what he calls "fake" trackers (~31 in total.) These trackers are seemingly part of an elaborate plot to infiltrate the BitTorrent community with intentionally corrupt files. These movie and film titles are specifically designed to report false information to trackers, thereby gaining artificially inflated popularity.

“In a very short period of time, these false torrents have become most of my top downloads,” Rex told Slyck.com. “I’ve never seen anything else before like it.”

Those who download these torrents are unable to complete a full download, as the file transfer stops at approximately 97%-98%.

Here’s how this clever plot works.

These trackers have published about 50 variant torrents of only three titles, "The Wedding Crashers", "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory", and the first three episodes of "The O.C." Some titles are published as "DVD-rips" while others are pushed as "XviDs". Others are presented as an English or French releases.

This is done to disguise the origin of the torrent, and also to present a diverse array of choices. For example, if all were DVD-rips, their exposure would be limited to those only with enough bandwidth to download such large films. Having DVD-rips and XviDs exposes the torrent to a wider market.

According to Rex, the torrent originating from false trackers are intentionally reporting false information. For example, a corrupt torrent will report 400 seeds with 3000 leeches. Since the more individuals having a file are indicative of the file’s download speed, it becomes a highly downloaded torrent and aids in its popularity.

The ruse is additionally disguised by spreading the torrent release from over 31 different trackers. Interestingly enough, although the identified trackers have different sub domains, they all originate from the same IP address.

It appears myBittorrent has borne the brunt of this attack; however these types of corrupt torrents have begun to appear on Mininova as well. Since the threat has been identified, the administration of myBittorrent has begun eliminating any torrent files originating from the identified trackers. At this time, the origins of the attack are unknown. But their initial goal of gaining maximum exposure certainly did work, if only for a short while.

The myBittorrent.com Staff has identified the following trackers as BAD TRACKERS:

http://distan.servecounterstrike.com/announce
http://freevideo.no-ip.info/announce
http://zorba.zapto.org/announce
http://fuf.zapto.org/announce
http://tzar.servecounterstrike.com/announce
http://whypay.servebeer.com/announce
http://m0vies.servep2p.com/announce
http://matha.sytes.net/announce
http://tracker.workisboring.com/announce
http://freemovies.serveftp.com/announce
http://chech.servequake.com/announce
http://kur.servegame.com/announce
http://nia.servehttp.com/announce
http://torrentsource.servemp3.com/announce
http://mpaa.servehttp.com/announce
http://nopay.no-ip.info/announce
http://prince2.bounceme.net/announce
http://startracker.geekgalaxy.com/announce
http://cash.servequake.com/announce
http://gleneagle.damnserver.com/announce
http://zesty.no-ip.info/announce
http://206.81.133.67/announce
http://coolserver.servecounterstrike.com/announce
http://mpaa.servehttp.com/announce
http://tracker101.no-ip.info/announce
http://q1.sytes.net/announce
http://matha.sytes.net/announce
http://mishmish.servemp3.com/announce
http://waikiki.net-freaks.com/announce
http://only-guiness.servebeer.com/announce
http://gruzia.zapto.org/announce

Didn't I tell you people to stop downloading movies?

Technorati tags: MPAA, Bit Torrent, bittorrent

Rumor of the Day...

2005-09-24T10:08:00.000-07:00

"ATTENTION: MPAA have been running 2 trackers on 1 IP, 71.138.166.218 so ban it, they are fake files and just log your ip details"

If this makes sense to you, you know what to do. It's why I keep telling people; don't download movies. Can't wait to see where this one ends up.

Technorati tags: MPAA, Bit Torrent, bittorrent

Does Tickles_Tapeworm have to choke a bitch? (Part 1.5)

2005-09-20T21:52:00.000-07:00

Well, I can tell Carrie is on the rag again, since she wants me to move out because I told her to put her shoes on. Yeah, it's definitely a Tuesday. She's just lucky that we still have a coupon for The Fair for later in the week. But fuck, now I missed George Thorogood and the Destroyers. And all 2 or 3 of their songs I know.

Did I mention that Carrie has completely lost her mind? You see what one fucking sitcom does to her? We have corks on all our forks, and I have to keep all the knives locked up for my own safety. And lately, she's been telling me that she can hear the computer talking to her...

I need to find a new job soon, because the bill collectors have started taking my family members hostage. To all prospective employers reading this: You can replace your non-productive employees with a non-productive employee that's funny sometimes. And I know how to make my workspace look cool. I'm down with McPhee.

I might bitch about how FUCKING INSANE and SADISTIC and CRUEL Carrie may be, but I still love her. Sort of.

And at least she doesn't fake typos for sympathy. ;)

Ye Scurvy Dogs

2005-09-19T06:09:00.000-07:00

Today be "talk like a Pirate" day, me hearties. Iffen you're not sayin' "arrrh" all day, I'll be sendin' yar bone ta Davey Jones when I makes ya walk the plank. Shiver me timbers, ya limey wharf rats.

Does Tickles Tapeworm have to choke a bitch? (Part I)

2005-09-17T00:58:00.000-07:00

I'm gonna fucking kill her, I swear. Who the fuck gets all in tears over sitcoms? Especially when the last few seasons sucked ass, and they decided to make the last episode some shit where they tell you they lied about the whole series? I'll fucking tell you who. Fucking Carrie. Jesus Christ, the show has been over like 8 years, and she starts to hyper-ventilate at the mere mention of that last show. I wish I would have known how screwed up she is when I met her. But then again, what do you expect from people who steal boxes of Franzia from Safeway?

I try to tell her that she's just being nuts, and she gets even more freaked out. I ASK her to not fucking cover my mouth when she doesn't like what I have to say, and she gets even MORE freaked out. My next option is to grab the Miracle Blade (they cut through bone, you know). She's just lucky I don't have a back yard to bury her in.

I still Love her, though.

And at least she's not a cradle robber. ;)

Moving On...

2005-09-16T18:06:00.000-07:00

It seems I'm not the only one with a little drama. I pulled this article from suprnova.

"Methlabs was founded in the year 1997 and in these many years we have got to know them mostly by their release of PeerGuardian, who is mostly used by users to block anti-piracy organisations and other addresses that may hurt regular users.

Most members of the PeerGuardian team have been forced to leave their website and servers. One of the so called 'trusted' members who was responsible of taking care for finances has with time, slowly taken over the MethLabs website and servers. This member has also taken over all of the donations, that were given to the development team by the users of PeerGuardian.

Methlabs says they will continue development of the PeerGuardian2 at a different temporary location and that they are currently searching for a new permament home, but until they find it you can access their website at PeerGuardian.SF.net.

We have talked with Joseph Farthing who is one of the admins of Methlabs and he has told us that the person who stole their servers and money was using the nick "cerberius" and that he has been on Methlabs team for a bit over a year.

Also fake news has appeared on internet saying, that everything Joseph Farthing and others are saying are lies and are trying to confuse people. The fake news can be found at Methlabs.org. You can also see a reply from Joseph Farthing at p2pnet.net.

Methlabs advises users to not update their blocklist, since this part of Methlabs that was hosting the blocklist has been taken over too. PeerGuardian users are advised to update their blocklists from a temporary link, until their lists return.

Once they are settled on the new location, they will update PeerGuardian with the new lists and redirect everything to the new domain. Users are advised to not trust anything they see from domains MethLabs.org & BlockList.org.

For now we can only hope no users will be harmed from this unfortunate event and we wish Methlabs all the best luck with setting their new site up.

We will cover the story as it evolves and keep you informed."

Remember, if you're using PeerGuardian, make sure you turn off auto updates. And if anyone knows how to manually update the lists, please let me know. :)

EDIT: I found out an easy way to update the blocklists. Get yourself some Blocklist Manager.

EDIT: Taken from slyck.com
September 27, 2005
Thomas Mennecke

Two weeks ago, Slyck reported on the apparent hijacking of the Methlabs.org and associated domain names. According to the SOS press release, a “majority of the Methlabs.org administration and development team have been forced out of their website.”

In addition, the assets of the site, including the Blocklist.org source code and Methlabs.org’s financial donations, were also taken over.

According to Methlabs.org, founded by Tim Leonard and Ken McKelland, an individual named “Cerberius” slowly took control of the site. Slyck contacted Cerberius and received his explanation of how events unfolded.

“D3f (co-founder of Methlabs.org) told me to renew it. I did, and in doing so, it was transferred to my account. D3f said this exactly, “Just checking in guys been working non stop but something needs to be taken care of Blocklist.org has expired and register fly no longer excepts paypal, so someone is gonna have to try and renew it.”

According to Cerberius, there was a revolt on Methlab.org several months after he renewed the domains.

“The other individuals wiped the server of all data. I came online that day and found things had been taken over, etc. There was a revolt, and I was threatened to turn over the domain. Needless to say, I knew nothing of this and was angry”

But this didn’t add up to now restored owner, Tim Leonard. Leonard told Slyck.com that Cerberius was only authorized to renew the domains, not take ownership of the site. After he took control of the site, he was then able to seize the site’s assets.

Over the course of several weeks prior to the hijacking, tensions built within the Methlabs.org community. According to moderators, Cerberius’s philosophy was becoming increasingly incompatible with that of Methlabs. Because of this incompatibility, the administration was moving to remove him from power. The situation came to a head, and the knowledge entrusted to Cerberius was then used against Methlabs to hijack the site.

In the end, Cerberius came to realize this simply was not a fight worth fighting, and agreed to transfer the domains and assets back to Tim Leonard. The transfers took place approximately 1 hour prior to the publication of this article, which has been verified by Tim Leonard and by conducting a “WhoIs” query in GoDaddy.com.

BlogExpulsion

2005-09-13T16:47:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't updated in 2 weeks. Apparently my last post took over my blog, and my life, according to Jeff at least. This post makes more sense if you read the one before it.

My BlogExpulsion account was suspended today, because some people don't know much about running businesses or customer support. I don't think he even gave me an official reason for being suspended. He accused me of trying to smear BlogExpulsion. None of those pics were photoshopped. They said what they said, and that's that.

I never once said anything negative about BlogExpulsion (until now), but he treated me like I had compared it to the Third Reich. **EDIT Since it's "poor form" to link to my support ticket, you get treated to more screenshots!!! (Click pics for a larger image, or if you'd rather read a text version, click here.)

He seems to have a major beef with BlogAdvance and it's members. That is evident at Dr. Fil's blog. In my opinion, he took his aggression towards them out on me, as you can see in my support ticket displayed above.

The bottom line is: so fucking what? I'm already a member of mutliple blog traffic services (like BlogAdvance, BlogClicker, or BlogAzoo). It's not like I even really give that much of a shit about blogging.

All Jeff does is give some validity to what everyone is saying about him, his staff and their service. If you read my support tickets, it shows that he has no concern over the rules he's set forth. He's concerned with how my post makes his service look, but in actuality all I did was republish Rachel's comments towards me and a few other images that were already public to begin with. Jeff won't even acknowledge the blatant violation of his own rules.

And what is his problem with BlogAdvance? I never mentioned them in my previous post, nor did I bitch about BlogExpulsion at BlogAdvance in their forums or tagboard. When I saw that the boycott BE blog commented about my situation, I asked them to remove it. But still, he's categorized me into a group of BlogAdvance-spawned mudslingers (and who are these Masked Men?) simply because I didn't like how I was being treated by one of his admins. I have no idea what relevance BlogAdvance has to my situation, but he brought their name up in his last 2 replies.

But like I said, so fucking what? I've eaten at fast food restaurants that were run better than BlogExpulsion. All Jeff really did was suspend me before I had the chance to quit. Most people wont even believe it's me that wrote my replies to the support tickets. I went out of my way to sound professional and polite. And look where it got me? Fuck that shit. My biggest loss? I gotta take down the "No Sharks" image since I'm not in the battles anymore.

Technorati Tags: Blogging, BlogExplosion, BlogAdvance, BlogClicker, BlogAzoo, Blog, blog traffic, BlogExpulsion, Blogs

Freedom of Speech (Just watch what you say)

2005-08-30T13:25:00.000-07:00

This Post has been appended; scroll down for edit

I guess this all started here. And here. And here. And here.

EDIT: and everything ends here.

Yup. That's right. 3 or more people decided to devote 4 posts over 2 blogs to bashing teenage boys (newsflash: most of us do what you did every day, but we find better things to post about). The funny thing is, they didn't really outwit him. They just ganged up and decided that they had defeated a *gasp* couple of kids. And they keep patting each other on the back for it. You can see that in their posts. I also saw some of them bragging about it in the SB.

Ahh, yes. The SB. This person used to frequent the SB, until they voiced an "unpopular opinion". Rachel is an admin at a blog traffic site that you and I may or may not use. You can read of her exploits with "the other" Carrie here.

Anyways, back to the SB. One day, I'm just chillin' in the SB, Tapeworm style, and i see this: (click the pics for a larger image)

Yes, the admin for this system is saying that. I admire that kind of professionalism.

Oh yeah, I started this post by trying to make a point. I was sick of hearing about what they did to 2 kids. I was blogsurfing, and just happened to come across that blog that definitely does talk way too much. The 4th post of them getting together and bashing people (much less than) half their age was too much for me. I said what I had to say (which you've already seen if you followed my links in the first place). Funny how I never mentioned a specific person. In fact, the first generalization I made can be applied to much of the blogosphere. Ok, I lied. The second one I made was directed at a specific person.

For some reason, Rachel decided to make this a matter that involved the blog service we have in common. She comes into the SB and announces "TicklesTapeworm what the hell is your problem?" I remember well what happened to buddhadharma, so I didn't let Rachel goad me into getting myself banned. I replied with something close to "lol, yeah, this is the best forum to discuss that. I don't have email or my own blog or anything". She really had no choice but to agree with me. Still, she had to be right, and insisted that I had brought up that comment I made in the SB (the closest I came to that was mentioning that I might have some new "friends" that night, which proved to be true ;) ).

I wanted to see if I had done anything wrong, and wanted to protect myself from getting into trouble in the future. I had simply asked for a link to see the Terms of Service, because I wasn't able to find it from the main page. This is the response I get:

So, first she threatens me and ends it with a smiley, insults me, and then lectures someone for stereotyping others. This is definitely a woman I want running my services.

Then, back at that blog that talks way too much, I see that they've decided to bring my girlfriend into it. And they're calling me gay. These gals just ooze maturity.

Remember how Rachel said she was going to stop people from winning any blog battles? She wasn't kidding.

Hmm. web divas, cherry, toomuch, biologisvensk. All of Rachel's little pals. I find it somewhat fishy that Rachel, cherry, toomuch and web divas hadn't voted in any of the previous blog battles, and they didn't vote in any battles afterwards either. It's just too bad that toomuch wasn't bright enough to vote for the right person, and inadvertently caused that beautiful blogger Carrie (my Carrie) to win. You know you suck when you can't even cheat right.

Oddly enough, I saw people from AZ, NV, and NJ on mine and Carrie's blogs for much of the evening. I have no idea what the person from NJ is lurking here for, because I really didn't include them in the comment I made at that talky blog. They were involved in the initial incident, but at least had the good sense to blog about something besides talking down to kids.

It gets better.

Sometime around 8:30 PM PST, someone managed to get Carrie's blog password, logged into her account, and deleted her blog. It just so happens that Carrie's blog password *used to be* the same as the one she used on the aforementioned blog service. It also just so happens that an admin with access to Carrie's info was mad at me (or us). I'll let you do the math on that one yourself. I find it odd that someone from AZ was the last person on her blog before it got deleted...

By the way, you may notice that Carrie's blog is up. Thank god for backed up posts.

So I go back to the SB to kill time while Carrie fixes the blog. You can see the events that transpired in the following photos.

See? Not everyone in the SB hates me. Or do they...

I love how she throws that figure at me. And how many of those 35,000 are SB regulars? I know bandy and PureMood are...

And this is pretty much where we're at now. I haven't been suspended yet, nor do I care to be. I like this blog service, but one of their admins is making my experience less than enjoyable. I plan to re-enter the battles with this post. Hopefully I can open up someone else's eyes.

You might ask "Tickles, why don't you just report it to the blog service?" Well, I'll tell you why. It doesn't do much good to complain when the person you're complaining about handles the complaints. :D

EDIT: It has since come to my attention that Rachel says the day of the battle and final shoutbox threat she only logged in to approve blogs. Who entered her in the battle then? And who was that in the SB? I'd really like to know.

If she was only approving blogs that night, why was she spending so much time on Carrie's blog, through 2 browsers, right up until the point it went down/was deleted? Again, I'd like to know.

Technorati Tags: Blogging, BlogExplosion, BlogAdvance, BlogClicker, BlogAzoo, Blog, blog traffic, BlogExpulsion, Blogs

A Gmail/Google Talk game... OR "Let the Hate flow through you."

2005-08-29T00:12:00.000-07:00

So I hear that the only way to use GoogleTalk is to have a Gmail. I'm going to exploit this event to get rid of the invites that have grown putrid and vomitrescent from lack of use. I've got plenty. And they can now be yours. With one slight stipulation...

I want you to make a comment about the person you hate the most. I'd appreciate that you be as detailed as possible. Not with info about that person you hate; naming them is optional. I just want you to tell me why you hate them. Even better, I'd like you to tell me how you'd like to express your hatred to that person. Would you torture them to death slowly, or would you just like to tell them you're angry? I want to know this, and I will reward you.

If the gmail invite is of no consequence to you, then name your price. I will see if I can fulfill your request.

After you agree to our pact, I can give you your invite 3 ways:
A: You can email me (left, in the sidebar or profile)
B: You can IM me, and tell me where you want it sent (once again, in the sidebar or proflie).
C: I can post a link to the invite (but someone might snatch it before you do, and then you'll have to talk about your 2nd most hated person).

The Question on Everyone's Mind...

2005-08-28T20:02:00.000-07:00

"So TicklesTapeworm what the hell is your problem?"

Sooner or Later (Sooner)

2005-08-28T19:03:00.000-07:00

Troll Captured Killed

2005-08-27T18:01:00.000-07:00

You mess with the bull; you get the horns. You mess with the Tapeworm; you get it up the ass.

Some little fool thought it would be fun to make a blog about getting ass raped, and then started posting comments on other people's blogs goading them into a fight. Well, this parasite is down to brawl.

She(he) thought it would be funny to come over to Carrie's blog and start talking some smack. 5 minutes later, the little bitch thought she was going to do it again. Bad idea. Once can be forgotten, twice earns the wrath of them nunchuks, yo.

We looked over the piece of shit blog, and all the comments were from people annoyed with the trolling and spamming. Funny thing was, there was actually one idiot who bought the BS associated with the blog, and tried sticking up for the writer. The reason I'm telling you this is because that little fucktard decided to remove all comments this morning.

Why, might you ask?

Let me tell you. "Penelope" isn't smart enough to know what sitetrackers are. If Penelope was smart, she never would have come back to Carrie's blog. The first time, we couldn't nail down the IP; she was blog battling. There were at least 5 people on the site, so we took a few guesses to which "Penelope" might be. But, as with all trolls, "Penelope" couldn't stay away. Commented again, and this time was the only visitor to the site. That's right; BUSTED. We then knew the ISP and where it was coming from.

If you read the most recent post from "Penelope", she mentions a "mean person" who invaded her privacy. Well, that mean person is me :D "Penelope" claims to be in San Diego, yet her ISP is telus.net, located in , Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. Hmm. The blog itself is all I needed to know it's all just a bullshit prank, but the IP was the proof that put it over the top.

I left an anon comment there, stating how odd that someone claiming to be living in California is using an ISP way up north. I asked if "Penelope" would like me to share her IP with all the others that had been harassed over the past 2 or so weeks.

Wouldn't you know, less than an hour later, all comments had been removed from her blog. Coincedence? I think not.

Luckily, I had already visited those blogs that she had trolled the worst. Once again, I commented anon. only this time, my message looked something like this...

"since Penelope has so cleverly removed the comments from her blog, I'll give you her(his) IP address.

d198-166-27-15.abhsia.telus.net

Report any complaints you may have to telus.net or help.blogger.com"

Looks like "Penelope" closed up shop, so (hopefully), thus marks the death of another troll.

And what does Penelope have to say about all of this?

"You are a mean person... I feel so sad about this."

Really? Cause I'm fucking ecstatic about it.

(Thanks to Danielle for inspiration for the post title and picture ;) )

You can read more about Penelope's escapades here and here.

Before you go and accuse me of attacking an innocent rape victim, ponder this. If Penelope wasn't commenting anywhere, then why did she shit herself when this info came to light? The IP I grabbed was from the commenter, not from her blog. Penelope = huge steaming pile of bullshit ;)

The Great Went

2005-08-25T02:42:00.000-07:00

I'm as blank as a fart. As soon as I can come up with something worth posting, I swear I'll do it.

Until then, click all my links and shit. Come on, don't be a wuss. There's a shitload of 'em. Click something.

Especially that sexy, alluring, busty donation button. You know you want to. You owe it to me. I've been stealing other peoples pictures and links and jokes and ideas for months and months, and you bastards haven't shown one bit of monetary gratitude ('cept for Uncle Jizzle). I need your money more than you do.

I've noticed that quite a few folks are interested in some horse on man action. Well folks, hurry up and donate while it's legal. They haven't passed any legislation yet, so if you dolts cough up enough cash, I'll take a horse dong in the pooper and get it on tape for ya. I've taken some mighty dumps in my life, so I feel I'm up to the challenge.

More Meme Crap

2005-08-16T16:21:00.000-07:00

my bitch got this from one of her little bloggy pals :P I guess I'll do it too, because I never post my own shit anyway.

comment on this post, and....

1. I'll respond with a random thought I have about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me (or so we think).
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what ~~intoxicant~~ celebrity who died with controversy you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal.

Babies... they're what's for dinner!

2005-08-16T16:19:00.000-07:00

For the sake of the kitties...

2005-08-01T05:53:00.000-07:00

Holy Fucking Shit!

2005-07-30T03:53:00.000-07:00

Check this out.

Yup, I'm a fucking []D [] []V[] []D!!!

This pretty much sums it up for me...

2005-07-27T22:57:00.000-07:00

Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

Lifted from Non Compos Mentis, who lifted it from Evil Bible.

The Polls are Closed!

2005-07-27T16:28:00.000-07:00

The Results are in!!!

After months of vigorous counting and re-counting, I've gone thru all the ballots and come up with a winner!

The results were as follows:

A: 6 votes
B: 8 votes
C: 9 votes
D: 8 votes

So there you have it! I must be C, because I'm sure the voters of this great country would never, EVER, choose the wrong person.

Well, I'm not freakin' C. I thought you people were my friends. I though you all knew me better than that. If you really cared, you all would have voted for the correct Tickles.

You're gonna have chalk this one up there with the answer to how many licks it may take to reach to reach the damn center.

Fuckin' Memes

2005-07-22T05:29:00.000-07:00

1. If you were a celebrity, what kind would it be (movies, tv, literature, crime, etc)?

Either a Hollywood Caliber actor, or the lead singer in the first br00taL Death Metal band to achieve pop status.

2. Which other celebrities would you make a concerted effort to try and be around?

The ones who know where to score the best dope. And the ones that drive best when drunk. People like Steve-0 and Roofus.

3. Which other celebrities would you avoid like the plague?

Boy Bands, Ben Assfleck, Ashlee Simpson, Richard Simmons, Slipknot

4. Which celebrities would you date?

Paula Deen, Bill Gates, The Olsen Twins (before they were famous)

5. What would be your “Celebrity Cause”?

Reducing the legal drinking age and age of consent by 5 years each.

6. Since celebs always get off, what crime(’s) would you commit?

Sell Crack. To blind kids.

7. What would be the name of your tell-all book?

"Jesus Fucking Christ"

8. Tag 3 people to do this poll.

The Kraken
Uncle Jay Razz
Bear

9. Link to the post that tagged you.

blogfart

100 things about me part deux

2005-07-19T19:18:00.000-07:00

If you need to catch up, go here.

35. I got Dave's Insanity Sauce in my eye once. Ever been pepper sprayed? It's the same fucking thing.

36. I can't roll a joint by hand; I have to use a roller.

37. I can't roll blunts either.

38. I fought in the Battle of Seattle (WTO '99). Those fuckers gassed us without warning. The Insanity Sauce was worse. I refrained from breaking any windows.

39. It took a month after my 21st birthday for me to get sick. I pretty much drank to the point of oblivion every night that entire month. On that fateful evening, I had a mobile Long Island Iced Tea factory in my backpack. I followed those with some cheap ass beer, which I in turn followed with Bacardi Limon and Coke. Big Fucking Mistake.

40. I got hit by a car on Valentine's Day. Broke my shoulder and my thumb. And they gave me a jaywalking ticket.

41. I slipped on a steep ass hill (between 1st and 2nd on Madison. Downtown Seattle has some shitty hills) and broke my arm on September 11th, 2000. 3 guesses to which I consider a bigger tragedy on that day...

42. The newest car I've ever owned is currently 15 years old.

43. For the most part, I hate Japanese and European cars. They're too small, and I cannot, CANNOT, stand the fucking modified Hondas that litter our roadways.

44. My girlfriend says I play too many games and download too much stuff. She just needs to shut the fuck up and get over it.

45. The first concert I ever saw was Helloween, Exodus and Anthrax, on the Headbanger's Ball tour, back in like '88. I was 10, and my mom made my brother take me. He took me to our seats and then bailed. I saw some puke in the hallway. Anthrax Rokked!!!

46. The second concert I saw was Little Richard.

47. My third concert was Metallica. I left at the first encore, before I knew about encores. I could hear 'em playing 'One' while I was waiting outside, cause the bastards wouldn't let me back in.

48. Since then, I've managed to see: Motley Crue, Megadeth, Iron Maiden, Guns 'n Roses, Slayer, Fear Factory and a whole bunch of others. Never been to an Ozz Fest or Lollapalooza though.

49. I saw Transformers: The Movie in the theatre.

50. I've seen it probably over a billion times on video.

51. I stay up too late too often.

52. I hate cooking.

53. I was in a movie (as an extra). Never see it. It's called "Born to be Wild". Think "Free Willy" with a gorilla.

54. I hate most of the people I went to school with.

55. I've sold drugs to teachers. A teacher at least.

56. I've only seen Episode III 3 times so far.

57. When I delivered pizza, I was calling carrie on my cellphone. I paid a little too much attention to the phone, and ended up driving through a traffic circle, and plowed down a sign. I went back later that night and took the sign home.

58. Me and a few friends took some acid on Halloween night and stole Britt's pumpkin. He was rather upset, but we thought it was so funny that we sat in the car in front of his house and laughed for like 5 minutes straight. We then decided we were going to bring him a better one. we took someone elses pumpkin, and threw it in his yard later that evening.

59. Taking his pumpkin became a tradition for like the next 7 years.

60. I am 110% positive that my driving is better than everyone else on the road. I can't stand how others drive.

61. I found out the hard way the psilocybin mushrooms and hard liquor dont mix. I took some mushrooms, and then started drinking. I forgot that what i was drinking was liquor, and shortly thereafter alternated between laughing hysterically and crying hysterically. I havent really enjoyed taking mushrooms since.

62. I was a cub scout, all the way thru Webelos.

63. I was the bus driver in the Rosa Parks school play (wearing my cubscout uniform and a cowboy hat [we designed our own costumes, and there was a den meeting that day anyway])

64. My invisible friends name was Casper. I'm guessing he was the friendly ghost.

65. I fucking love s'mores.

66. I've been accused of worshipping the devil more than I've been complimented on my dashing looks.

67. I have a terrible addiction to pudding rings.

68. For the most part, I have an addictive personality.

Got Metal?

2005-07-15T04:24:00.000-07:00

Scorched Earth are making an appearance on KAOS 89.3 FM, the very same station that Kurt Cobain and Nirvana used to play on. It's the Friday Night Rock Show, baby! You can listen, LIVE, from 11PM to 1AM PST.

Get yourself some RealPlayer or some Winamp (which is much better, if you ask me), and click the links on this page.

They'll be doing interviews, playing records, and performing LIVE!!!

Remember Friday Night, 11PM to 1AM PST on KAOS 89.3 FM

You can check out a few tracks from Scorched Earth on their myspace page.

WTF?

2005-07-12T22:13:00.000-07:00

Prepared to be disturbed.

Turn off all the lights and watch this.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

I'm coming out of the closet...

2005-07-10T06:09:00.000-07:00

... about file sharing.

Here's the down and dirty guide. I'm pretty sure that this is legal. To make use of what's there, you need to go either here or here. You might want to consider stopping by here first, especially if you're paranoid.

That's all I'm going to give you. Between all those links, you should be able to make it work. Have fun, and seed mf's.

***One Important thing to remember; Bit Torrent software and Bit Torrent files are FREE of charge. If you find a website that requires you to pay in any way for it's services, LEAVE immediately. That site is attempting to scam you.

Wikipedia explanation of bittorrent.

**EDIT: I forgot to mention that the Opera browser is working on their next build, 8.02, which is going to have Bittorrent built into the software. You just click on a torrent link, and Opera begins the download for you. Extremely simple, especially for folks who aren't that computer savvy. You can try it out here. Currently, it does not work with private trackers (bittorrent sites that you have to sign up for), but seems to function with most public trackers. REMEMBER, this is a preview build, so do not do anything of importance with this browser (buy things, pay bills, write long blog posts (: ).

I'm Famous! OR Drink Beer Every Day

2005-06-28T18:08:00.000-07:00

I am now a published author (aside from what I publish myself :P)! I stumbled upon a great new blog called Beer Haiku Daily. I think haikus are usually pretty lame, about love and nature and junk like that, but hell, one about beer? That' totally rokken!

They accept submissions, so I figured I'd come up with something brilliant. The author of the blog and I composed haikus that complement each other so beautifully, it brings a tear to the eye. You can witness their majesty here.

Bear also got one published!

2005-06-23T13:10:00.000-07:00

im camping on the river, see you monday

In my country, Bush = Pussy OR Politics can suck my dude eggs.

2005-06-21T04:20:00.000-07:00

Damn blogtraffic things like blogexplosion and blogclicker bring me heaps of crap, otherwise known as political blogs. I hate every single one of them. I've stated this many times. Here's good reason why I abhor political discussion:

Your Political Profile

Overall: 35% Conservative, 65% Liberal

Social Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

How Liberal / Conservative Are You?

I fucking hate both sides of the argument. But, to be completely honest, I hate the right more. Here's a few quotes from Steve that go to show you why...

"Why do liberals insist on listening to the "experts" instead of having some sort of faith in something?"

"...millions of completely innocent people have been killed for no reason since 1972 except for being unwanted by their mothers and none of you liberals seem to jump up and down and cry for that. You only have a problem with death when they are a murderer on death row or are an evil terrorist out for American blood."

"Typical liberal. I can almost see the "I am smarter than you" liberal smirk dripping with condescending attitude."

"Show me a reliable non-biased resource with out any prejudice toward either party."
(I'm sure he has one that he gets all his news from)

"And Michael Jackson is truly innocent of any wrong doing as well?"
(Actually, YES. Innocent on all counts.)

Sheesh.

IE is crap

2005-06-21T00:37:00.000-07:00

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Get Firefox. IE is garbage. Netscape is ugly. (I've never tried Opera, so I can't knock that one.) I had to resize a bunch of pictures, because IE gets all pissy and decides to put my posts way below my sidebar (thanks for letting me know, folks :P). And the sidebar is where you can find Firefox.

You can import all your favorites over to Firefox easily. You can view multiple web pages in one window, as opposed to opening a new one for every site. With the extensions, you can do a million things like right click a highlighed address to get directions, or right click some annoying banner that your ad blocker missed and make it disappear. Theres waaaaay too many extensions to list; you should just check it out for yourself. Believe me, once you start using Firefox, you'll completely forget about IE (except for Windows Update; you still need to do that through IE).

Just fucking do it.

Happy Flag Day

2005-06-14T03:50:00.000-07:00

Hope your Flag Day goes as well as this guy's did...

I'm sure mine will.

If you're as old as I am, you'll remember this. (requires Real player)

YOU pick the Tickles!

2005-06-11T20:17:00.000-07:00

That's right! This is it! The big one! The Final Four!

You pick the real Tickles. I promise that the real Tickles is up there. Now is your chance to officially cast your vote for who you believe he is.

Sure, I've lied to you in the past. Do you think I'd do it again?

Choice A:

Choice B:

Choice C:

Choice D:

Mr. Badwrench pt II

2005-06-09T21:40:00.000-07:00

I currently hate the world. Every fucking bit of it. I hate school, I hate AllState, I hate body shops, and I hate school. Allstate isn't doing shit for me, so either I'm stuck with the shit work, or I can get a fucking lawyer. Fun. My birthday is less than a week away, and at this point, I could give a shit. I don't want to get any older anyway.

I started some crap on myspace. I pretty much blog the same shit here. check it out when you're beyond bored. Here it is.

"I'm waiting for the day the whole world fucking dies."
Slayer - Disciple

Mr. Badwrench

2005-06-08T20:08:00.000-07:00

Over 2 months ago, a stupid fucking kid sideswiped me. He fucked my car up and made it undriveable. I had to wait forever for his insurance company to accept liability. I took it to a local shop, and asked the guy to inpsect the car, and see how close the insurance company's estimate was. I told him about a few things that were damaged by the accident, and he told me he'd take care of it. I never got anything in writing at all. About 2 weeks go by, and I leave a message wanting to know what's up. A few days later he calls me and tells me that it's done. Kinda odd. I see the thing, and he did a shit job on my bumper. It's real bad. I ask him about it, and he tells me that it's just how aftermarket parts are. I ask him about the other damages I told him about when I dropped it off. He said that he looked at it, but didn't see anything wrong. He charges me the full price of the original estimate. He said that he did everything that was listed there. Next day, my car is still fucked. I don't really want to get into the specific details until everything is over (yeah, I'm fucking paranoid).

I tell him what's going on, and he says there's not much he can do about it. I ask the insurance company what to do, and they tell me that I'm going to have to have a diagnostic performed at my own cost to prove the damage came from the accident. I call around, and pretty much every shop tells me that there's nothing that they can do about it. Apparently, the shop that did the original work was supposed to have done the inspection for that damage while they had my car stripped down. Of course, he didn't even fucking look at it.

I finally managed to find a shop that was willing to even look at my car. The guy I took it took could tell from about 100 feet away something was wrong. I got fairly concerned when he began removing my front fender by hand. Turns out that the guy who worked on it in the first place did little more than slap some paint on it. It has yet to be determined, but a few of the parties involved are of the opinon that a few of the parts I was billed for were simply reused. That's kinda, um, FRAUD. This is going to get interesting

I can't help myself.

2005-05-29T13:22:00.000-07:00

Be sure to go out and kill someone for America this weekend. Preferrably your neighbor. Especially if his Barbecue is better than yours.

My meat is marinating.

To help get you ready for Episode III...

2005-05-10T14:09:00.000-07:00

Just in case you didn't see it when it first aired (or need to see it again), I tracked down the clip of Triumph, the Insult Comic interviewing Star Wars fans in line to see Episode II. I can only pray he does it again for Episode III.

Triumph: Attack of the Dorks

I ordered my tickets for the 12:01 showing. I'm wondering how early we're going to have to show up. I hope not before 10:00. Since I won't be getting home until 3 AM at the earliest, I think I'm gonna pull a graveyard shift, and sleep until 9, and then go to work after the movie. Like I'll be able to sleep after seeing it anyway.

I wish they made the toys look cooler. They totally blew the Star Wars action figure line with the Episode II ones they released. They should have kept with the black background, Sith Lord in the top left design. Now they only Star Wars figures I need are sold on eBay. I guess they made some classic design packages, but the only one I've see is Lando.

Lando is always on the shelves. Why do they bother remaking him? Lando didn't really do shit. Sure, he went undercover to save Han, but all he does it bitch and whine. HE flies the Milennium Falcon, but he's nowhere near as cool as Han while doing it. I feel they're doing the same shit with Mace Windu. He has the potential to be a totally cool character, and he sounds like he's reading his lines off the back of his hand. I'm willing to be he'll be redeemed in Episode III.

I'm off to play LEGO Star Wars now. I'll let you know what I think later.

Star Wars, Star Wars, Star Wars, Star Wars, Sta...

UPDATE: There was only one Lando left. He was accompanied by an army of Lobots, the only figure lamer than Lando. It's a sick, sad world when Carrie gets more toys than I do.

Fvck you Bremerton; Shove it up your bunghole

2005-05-09T02:56:00.000-07:00

I'm tired. I'm still working on my god damned list, and I have some meme crap planned as well. I hate school. Work too.

Fuck Bremerton. You figure a shitty town with a Naval Base might have some ferries that run past midnight on the weekend, but I guess that just isn't the case. Nothing like having to drive a few hundred more miles than you planned on. At night. When you've already been driving for hours.

That donation button over yonder is feeling awful neglected...

2005-04-29T14:34:00.000-07:00

im going out of town this weekend. i trust you'll all behave yourselves while im gone...

Pfffffffft...

2005-04-25T21:12:00.000-07:00

From: Jerry Bowley (cuppojoe@gmail.com)
Reply-To: Jerry Bowley (cuppojoe@gmail.com)
To: tickles.tapewormATgmail(dot)com
Date: Apr 25, 2005 8:32 PM
Subject: Flamin'

You know, I never would have even stumbled across your little corner
of the world if you hadn't seen fit to trash my opinion on the Schiavo
case. Sure, it's your right to speak out on any given topic, on any
given blog, so it's not like you did anything wrong. However, I'm
always amazed at the amount of anger contained in people, especially
for things that have nothing to do with them at all. So, I kicked
back, purely for my own amusement and to see how riled you would get.
Quite a bit, from the look of things!

Don't like being the target of my "sport"? Too bad. It's also my right
to mouth off wherever and however I want.

You want to go ahead and escalate this? Sure, bring it on. Just
remember, I'm doing it for shits and giggles... You're doing it
because a bigger dog pissed in your yard.

Happy hunting!

--
Cuppojoe
http://cuppojoe.blogspot.com

_____________________________________

I had some wild hair up my ass to use blogclicker and blogexplosion today, and I came across this post. I commented on it, because I disagreed with what he had to say. I was kind of a jerk about it, but I'm sure you've all come to expect that from me by now. I didn't make any personal attacks; I just challenged his opinions. Instead of discussing on his blog (where the conversation belonged), he decided to come here and get revenge I suppose. He tried to be insulting at first, but was merely mediocre. You can see how this all goes down here.

RE: Flamin' (How appropriate)
You wanted to see how riled you could get me? Moron; I'm the one who riled you. Your sport? Dumbass. Do you think I really give a shit about Schiavo? I just didn't like what you had to say, and I let it be known. Like I said, you took the bait nicely. You've given me a lot of comments for others to read, and even got a bonus post out of me today. You have effectively made the Internet worse, and I thank you for it.

Bigger Dog? How so? All you did was come and insult a couple of people who had nothing to do with our argument.

Just remember; dogs can get increased intestinal motility, cramping and sometimes gas from Tapeworms. Think about it...

Drop Everything...

2005-04-25T16:35:00.000-07:00

and if you haven't done so already this week, pop in "Appetite for Destruction" and kick something over.

A brief theory on filmmaking...

2005-04-25T12:42:00.000-07:00

Since everyone's stuck on movies, I thought I'd throw this at you.

Pirahna II: The Spawning
The Terminator
Aliens
The Abyss
Terminator 2
Titanic

See something wrong there? What the fuck was he thinking? I have never, and will never see Titanic. Never. I believe that a few of Jimmy's peers were also upset by this tragic turn of events. So much so, that they decided to get together to see who could make a film that was far worse than Titanic. At the time of writing this, I can only remember 2 that took part in this challenge.

________________________________

#1: Sam Raimi

The Evil Dead
Evil Dead II
Darkman
Army of Darkness
A Simple Plan

and then...

For Love of the Game

The Cast? Kevin Costner is all I need mention.

The Story? A love story thrown in with a baseball movie. Starring Kevin Costner. 'nuff said. Seriously; why is he still being given roles? I can't tell the difference bewteen Field of Dreams and Robin Hood: Prince of Theives. The Postman doesn't even need to be brought up.

_____________________________________

#2: Wes Craven

Last House on the Left
The Hills Have Eyes
Swamp Thing
A Nightmare on Elm Street
Serpent and the Rainbow
Shocker
The People Under the Stairs

and then...

Music of the Heart
Where do I start?

The cast? Let's see: Meryl Streep, Gloria Estefan, Aidan Quinn and a fucking Culkin kid.

The soundtrack? Fucking 'NSYNC.

The Story? Teaching kids in the hood how to play violin. Right.

________________________________________

If you know any of the other directors who were involved in this stunt, please comment.

I'm not making this up...

2005-04-24T21:40:00.000-07:00

In response to the Han Solo references made at The Kraken's blog, Carrie and I had our own discussion. Carrie thought that Han Solo died in Episode I or II.

Tickles: "Who's the pilot of the Millenium Falcon?"

Carrie: "What's the Millenium Falcon?"

Tickles: "..."

Carrie: "Wait, is it the Maori? Bobo?"

Right.

Here's a bit more...

Tickles: "Who's the leader of the Empire?"

Carrie: "The Empire? I didn't see that one."

This isn't Star Wars related, but it belongs here anyway...

Carrie: "OK, do you put in soap or clothes or water first?" (Referring to the washing machine that we've been using for over 6 months now. Correction. I've been using for over 6 months now.)

Don't you think I deserve a bump up Jennifer's List for this? For pity's sake?

hell yeah

2005-04-20T16:20:00.001-07:00

its 4:20!!!

The Final Countdown

2005-04-20T16:08:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I know you all rock out to Europe.

By my clock, there's 11 minutes left...

Happy New Year!!!

2005-04-20T10:52:00.000-07:00

It's four fvcking twenty, bitches. You know the drill.

Some more dumb ass meme stuff...

2005-04-16T23:40:00.000-07:00

Stolen from Carrie, who stole it from Alli

Check them if they apply... if they're blank, you're guilty...

(x) I've Never Crashed A Friend's Car

(x) I've Never Been To Japan

( ) I've Never Been In A Taxi

( ) I've Never Been In Love

(x) I've Never Had Sex In Public

( ) I've Never Been Dumped

( ) I've Never Done Cocaine

( ) I've Never Shoplifted

(x) I've Never Been Fired

( ) I've Never Been In A Fist Fight

(x) I've Never Had Group Intercourse

( ) I've Never Snuck Out Of My Parent's House

(x) I've Never Been Tied Up

( ) I've Never Regretted Having Sex With Someone

(x) I've Never Made Out With A Stranger

( ) I've Never Stolen Something From My Job

(x) I've Never Celebrated New Years In Time Square

(x) I've Never Gone On A Blind Date

( ) I've Never Lied To A Friend

(x) I've Never Had A Crush On A Teacher

(x) I've Never Celebrated Mardi-Gras In New Orleans

(x) I've Never Been To Europe

( ) I've Never Kissed A Member Of The Opposite Sex

(x) I've Never Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex

( ) I've Never Skipped School

( ) I've Never Slept With A Co-Worker

( ) I've Never Cut Myself On Purpose

(x) I've Never Had Sex At The Office

(x) I've Never Been Married

(x) I've Never Been Divorced

(x) I've Never Had Sex With More Than One Person Within The Same Week

(x) I've Never Posed Nude (its not posing if you're having sex, is it?)

(x) I've Never Gotten Someone Drunk Just To Have Sex With Them

(x) I've Never Killed Anyone (...yet)

(x) I've Never Received Scars From My Sex Partner

( ) I've Never Been Drunk

( ) I've Never Smoked Pot

(x) I've Never Thrown Up In A Bar (do bushes outside the bar count?)

(x) I've Never Taken Ecstasy

( ) I've Never Purposely Set A Part Of Myself On Fire

( ) I've Never Eaten Sushi

(x) I've Never Been Snowboarding

( ) I've Never Had Sex At A Friend's House While They Were Throwing A Party

( ) I've Never Had Sex While A Friend Was In The Room

(x) I've Never Had Sex In A Dressing Room

(x) I've Never Flashed Anyone

( ) I've Never Met Anyone From Online

100 things about me, part one...

2005-04-13T22:30:00.000-07:00

Since I'm now officially a hot blogger, I guess I have to give you all a little insight into who I really am.

Episode IV - A Newer Hope

1. I've lived in Seattle for about 26 of about 27 years of my life. 1 year was spent in the burbs north of Seattle.

2. The music I enjoy would probably cause involuntary bowel movements in the general public.

3. I've never owned a car built later than 1990.

4. I've never smoked crack.

5. I've been hit by a car while crossing the street twice.

6. Tuna Casserole is my absolute favorite dish.

7. I (really) take my time finishing school.

8. I don't understand the concept of worshipping gods.

9. I don't doubt the existence of gods.

10. In regards to #2, seriously. Just the names of the songs scare most decent folk. Check out my audioscrobbler some time.

11. I get nervous when I see cops behind me.

12. I saw Episode I in the theaters 5 times.

14. I saw Episode II in the theaters 7 times.

15. When I saw Episode V in the theater, I was like 3 years old, and the Wampa scared the fucking shit out of me.

16. I saw Tom Skeritt in a theater on Friday the 13th. I was going to see the premiere of Dracula. I don't know what he was watching.

17. The next day, I got stoned for the first time. Across the street from my friends house, with a Dad's Root Beer pop can. You know how that goes.

18. When I drink at home, it's damn near impossible to get a buzz. Rarely get more than one drink in.

19. When I drink in social situations, I can't keep track of how many I've had.

20. I've never fired a gun.

21. I don't really want to.

22. I've never been further east than Coeur d'Alene, ID.

23. I really like camping. Not backpacking or any primitive shit like that. But I don't need a generator and a satellite dish either.

24. I hate politics, and people that are interested in them.

25. I love Jamba Juice. I hate smoothies for the most part, but I love Jamba Juice. They know what's up.

26. My highs are pretty high, and my lows are very low. I think I have some sort of imbalance.

27. I hate the way everyone else drives.

28. I prefer my bong water ice cold.

29. I can't fight the urge to smoke cigarettes when I drink.

30. I smoked for 9 years, then quit for 3. Now it's just kind of a casual thing.

31. I graduated from school a few years late. I wasn't really concerned with the diploma, so I put it off for a while.

32. I hate school in general. Reading books is a fucking pain in the ass for me. I can't concentrate on just one sentence, and get lost all the time.

33. After watching Cujo when I was a kid, I had a fear of dogs for a while. Cujo is one of the only movies that ever really scared me.

34. I'm a horror movie junkie. Me and my mom used to go rent them every weekend.

So You've Decided to be Evil?

2005-03-26T18:20:00.000-08:00

Congratulations on being the creator of a new
Evil Plan (tm)!

Your objective is simple: Soul Accumulation.

Your motive is a little bit more complex: Hatred for all mankind

Stage One

To begin your plan, you must first expose a chosen one. This will cause the world to slaughter a sacred calf to appease the gods, horrified by your arrival. Who is this demon straight out of hell? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in a supervillain costume with gimmicks?

Stage Two

Next, you must desecrate the Internet. This will all be done from a floating fortress, a mysterious place of unrivaled dark glory. Upon seeing this, the world will spontaneously combust, as countless hordes of the religious right hasten to do your every bidding.

Stage Three

Finally, you must let loose your arcane ritual, bringing about a 1984 police state. Your name shall become synonymous with slaughter, and no man will ever again dare interrupt your sentences. Everyone will bow before your mind-boggling insanity, and the world will have no choice but to lavish endless praise on your misdeeds.

Destroy my blog!

2005-03-14T22:40:00.000-08:00

Click here to take this crappy blog out!

Oh Siggy...

2005-03-03T22:41:00.000-08:00

I know how dumb I am Doc. I think you need to quit pretending.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, go see sigcarlfred.blogspot.com. You'll soon come to understand.

The Holy Messenger

2005-02-22T01:45:00.000-08:00

Hunter S. Thompson Commits Suicide, dead at 67

2005-02-21T01:01:00.000-08:00

Man, this is really lame. As if I wasn't bummed out enough, a true American hero leaves us. My next bong hit and every subsequent hit after that will be in his honor. Pretty much every drug will be dedicated to him from now on.

Hunter S. Thompson; born July 18th, 1937 - died February 20, 2005.

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."

Pics from the Woodland Park Zoo

2005-02-19T19:59:00.000-08:00

Not the greatest photos of all time. I really need to work on judging light, and keeping my freakin' hands steady. (Click pics for a large view)

Some of the bunnies that run around the zoo. These are the only ones we saw this trip.

Just some eagles chillin'.

A Nigerian dwarf goat. He's all "Look at me!".

His pal got the same idea.

The Silverback and the young'uns.

A young hippo. The duck circled in this photo is a real asshole. I don't know what breed he is, but he chases the mallards out of the hippo pool all the time. I took my dumbass friend to the zoo once, and he proceeded to throw rocks at asshole duck in retribution for what he had done to the mallards.

This lion just got done making some weird noises before he walked across their area to the lioness. I think it was Lion for "Gimme some sugar baby!", but she was unresponsive, so he just layed down next to her.

I know this is a messed up shot, but I kind of liked the sun effect on the monkey.

Some bearded monkeys. Another good example of how I need to learn to keep steady.

The elusive Mountain Goat. The goat doesn't like to be seen often. You usually have about 5 seconds to see him, and then he disappears again.

Some penguins about to take the plunge.

No, this isn't my sink. This is part of the zoo's spider exhibit. Half of it was closed. I bet a bunch got out and ate a kid or something. They have a goliath spider in there...

Cold lampin', tortoise style.

Leonardo, Michaelangelo, Donatello, Raphael (and unnamed child) tangle with Leatherhead once again!

Tag, I'm It

2005-02-16T14:45:00.000-08:00

Well, now it's an official one; The Kraken has tagged me to do a little ditty about movies. Here goes.

What's the total number of movies in you collection?
At least 90 DVDs, between Carrie and I (some aren't specifically anyone's). I don't even know where the VHS tapes are. I also didn't count the DVDs that weren't actual movies (televison collections, cky, Steve-O, bumfights, etc.) or any 'back-ups'.

What's the last movie you bought?
Half Baked: Fully Baked Edition (which leads me to this rant). I really hate how they release special editions of stuff. I now have a Resevoir Dogs, Half Baked, Fellowship and 2 Towers that I have no use for. They made a better version of Holy Grail right after I got mine. They made a much more expensive version of Time Bandits (fvck you Criterion!). The 'rare, out of print' Robocop has like 5 seconds of additional footage than the regular one (fvck you again Criterion!). The 2 disc Fear and Loathing (fvck you thrice Criterion!). The list goes on...

What's the last movie you watched before reading this message?
Napoleon Dynamite

Name 5 movies that you watch often, or that mean something to you
1. Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer - I love movies where a lot of people die. Violently. Low budget, I don't know where it was released theatrically, L.A. I think. Stars Michael Rooker (the bald guy from Mallrats). I cheer for Henry every time, and it never gets old. Somewhat based on Henry Lee Lucas.

2. Dead Alive - Here's a wonderful story! I got Dead Alive on VHS for Carrie years back, but it was never opened. One night, us and a friend made a pact that when it was opened, someone had to puke. Years passed, and it was never opened. We were at Hollywood video one night, and the had the DVD on sale for like 16 bucks. We bought it, and then let someone borrow the VHS tape. The pact had been passed on to the DVD. On Halloween this year, I knew what had to be done. Carrie was too much of a wuss to do it, and the other guy (we'll call him Blizzy) got scared and left when he found out what was about to go down.

I Lara Flynn Boyle'd it, and we opened that damn DVD. I think I fell asleep watching it.

Oh yeah, Dead Alive/Braindead is one of Peter Jackson's first movies. And By far his best.

3. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom - This movie just kicks ass, straight up. My Mom took me to see this, Gremlins and The Neverending Story all in the same week.

4. Flash Gordon - I don't know if I saw any movie more than this one when I was a kid. And the soundtrack fvcking rocked! It still does.

5. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory - I'm sure this has to be one of everyone's favorite movies. I think it's one of the greatest movies ever made actually. Gene Wilder's greatest role (and I'm scared to see what Johnny Depp is going to do with it).

The first 5 best movies quote that come into your head?
1. "I want to kill somebody."

"Say that again."

"I said I want to kill somebody."

"Let's me and you go for a ride, Otis."

--Henry and Otis - [Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer] This dialogue was sampled by Nailbomb. It further exemplifies Henry's lust for bloodshed.

2. "Shit man, I guess I'm just a natural born killer."

--Mickey Knox - [Natural Born Killers] It's weird; I can totally pick up on the riot vibe this statement makes.

3. "If I had a dick, this is where I'd tell you to suck it."

--Delores Bickerman (Betty White) - [Lake Placid] Watching Betty White say this line is reason enough to watch this movie.

4. "Your dog made sport of my blood, you pig. I'm gonna kill your kids for that. You come out here and stick you life in my face. Stick your fingers in my pie! That was a bad mistake. I thought you were smart and tough. You're stupid. You're nothin'. I'm gonna watch your god damn car rust out, yes I will! I'll see the wind blow your dried up seeds away. I'll eat the heart of your stinkin' memory. I'll eat the brains of your kids' kids! I'm in, you're out!"

--Papa Jupiter - [The Hills Have Eyes] Papa Jupiter is fvcking scary.

5. "This is what happens, Larry, when you fvck a stranger in the ass!"

--Walter Sobchak - [The Big Lebowski] One of the best parts of one of the best films.

What are you 3 top favorite movies from the 80's?
1. Transformers: The Movie
2. Space Hunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone
3. The Toy

What's the first movie you bought?
As in went out and purchased by myself? I really have no clue. I'm thinking it might be Temple of Doom.

What's the first DVD you bought?
I joined Columbia House DVD right after I got my player, so I got a bunch at once, including:

The Matrix, Kids, Scarface, The Wall, 7, Fight Club, Holy Grail and The Exorcist. I think those were it.

I made no mention of Episodes IV-VI, because they go without saying.

I guess I'm passing this on to: Carrie, Eth, and Ol' Gangbang (if he's even still alive). I'm pretty sure no one else even looks at this piece of shit blog.

Chain letter Blogging

2005-02-15T15:08:00.001-08:00

I stole this from someone, who in turn got it elsewhere, so I guess it makes it all chain-lettery or something. I'm doing the (what I believe to be) full version of it. So what if I'm doing it wrong?

What's the total amount of music files on your computer?
Just broke 10k this week.

What's the last CD you bought?
"Humanure" by Cattle Decapitation and "Lovesick, Broke and Driftin' " by Hank Williams III. (I ordered them at the same time.)

What's the last song you heard before reading this message?
According to Winamp, "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice.

The first 5 best lyrics that come inside my head:

1. "I'm waiting for the day the whole world fvcking dies!" - Tom Araya / Slayer - Disciple / God Hates us All

2. "Life ain't nothin' but bitches and money." - Ice Cube / N.W.A. - Gangsta, Gangsta / Straight Outta Compton

3. "I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die." - Johnny Cash - Folsom Prison Blues

4. "It's a dead world, and it's about time to clear things here. One generation follows another, but something in my head says 'Keep going; don't give up'." - Atari Teenage Riot - Destroy 2000 Years of Culture / Burn, Berlin, Burn!

5. "You thought it was over; it's not over. I came back, I brought my Axe." - Chris Barnes / Cannibal Corpse - The Pick-Axe Murders / The Bleeding

AudioScrobbler

2005-02-11T13:50:00.000-08:00

I don't know if any of you are bothering to click my AudioScrobbler link, but you really should. Da Scrobbla is pretty nifty. The sign up doesn't even require an email. You can listen to what everyone else is listening to. Just look at someone's profile. If like what you see, you can listen to their playlists. You can also download a plugin for pretty much any media player and submit your own play lists. They can compare your list to everyone else's to provide you with lists of similar taste.

My favorite feature is listening to member's personal radio stations. Random tracks from their playlists broadcast at 128k! And you can skip tracks, ban artists you don't like, and mark ones that you love. It's a great way to sample new artists, and it's fvckng free! Give it a shot; you won't be disappointed.

I didn't understand what was going on...

2005-02-11T00:38:00.000-08:00

I was talking to this scientist guy earlier this week, and he said that there was going to be a mininova soon, or something like that. He said it was going to blow up. I don't know what a mininova is. I should probably look it up.

The URL of this Blog Has Changed!!!

2005-02-10T17:36:00.000-08:00

The NEW URL is http://ticklestapeworm.blogspot.com

Please change your links accordingly.

Profile updated and a few small changes around the blog made.

So Now I'll Play "Link Blogger"

2005-02-10T02:13:00.000-08:00

I am NOT responsible for the content of these pages.

The Best Page in the Universe

Real Fvcking Ninjas, Man

Black People Love Them

Guaranteed to offend!

I've said it before, and I'll say it again...

2005-02-08T21:52:00.000-08:00

I hate political blogs. I don't like the liberal ones, but I fvcking HATE the conservative ones. I swear, I hope those people don't virus protection, and get a bunch of spyware, and their computers break, and they can't fvcking blog anymore!

I bet you're saying, "what are you doing looking at political blogs in the first place?". Well, I have to if I want my stinking half credit from blog explosion. Thank god for tabbed browsing.

update: they just added a block categories feature; no more politics for me!

Beef: It's what's for dinner.

2005-02-06T22:48:00.000-08:00

As bad as it is, I love me some cow stuff. Steak, butter, Ice Cream, cheese. You name it. If it came from a cow, I'm digging it. And I bet I'll be dead by 32 because of it. But hell, if we weren't supposed to eat animals, then why do they taste so good? It's even better when you mix cow products, like cheeseburgers, or steak smothered in chocolate ice cream (what?).

It just sucks that you have to kill 'em to do it most of the time. Don't we have the technology to develop cow that tear easily and regenerate fast? That would be a bit more convenient.

Another thing I don't like about killing animals is hunting. Hunting is the most dipshit redneck activity there is. I would totally support a ban of all hunting across the U.S. Except for one form. Hand to Hand combat. Think about it. If you can take down an elk/deer/bear/etc. with just a fucking knife, then you deserve to hang a trophy on your wall.

Enough is Enough

2005-01-25T01:17:00.000-08:00

I'm so sick of political and religious blogs. Rooting for your favorite political party or deity holds about as much worth as rooting for your favorite contestant on American Idol. I'd rather read a billion more mommy blogs than one more god or government one. Thanks to BlogExplosion, I have to read said crap for at least 30 seconds at a time. And there seems to a lot more of them lately.

Which of these is the real Tickles?


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